By Royal Hopper
Once years ago in the halcyon days before 911 I was having a particularly bad day hadn’t slept much in three days and was particularly disgusted with city life its characters when in a moment of frustration I quipped to what I thought was an empty room.
“Man maybe I will just move to Montana and raise purple hermaphroditic poodles and live in a converted 7/11 by a sheep farm.” Don’t ask it made sense at the time and it had been a really bad day. I heard a giggle from behind a marble column in that supposedly empty room that nearly made me jump out of my $12 shoes or would have if I wasn’t so freaking tired. The giggle was followed by a voice coming from behind the pillar.
“Well said a man in a brown leather trench coat who I had not seen lurking near the inconvenient marble column. “How do you feel about rabbits and Utah is nice this time of year? The man said giggling a little in a gruff crazy guy sort of way. He freakin giggled.
The City of Sin is full of people who drink. It is full of people who gamble to much and visit women of ill repute and men of ill repute too these days. It is full of liars, men cheating on their wives and women cheating on their wives, men and women cheating on their husbands, and their dogs bringing other peoples kids to a Vegas casino to get discount ticket to shows (I‘m not joking). It is full of violent dangerous people dressed as Snow White, Snow White, gangsters, politicians, used car dealers and Time Share salesman and most horridly it is full of people who giggle…
One thing I have discovered Thanksgiving week in the City of Sin the week that saw Alcoholics Anonymous descend on the city ( AA meeting in Sin City please explain that to me) is that everybody in this city giggles a lot.. He he he
Why to people giggle ? I am also told it has nothing to do with humor which having witnessed people giggle at the strangest things and is almost like a compulsion or a mental illness. Gigiltoma ? Gigglitis? paranoid gigglphrenia ??
“Look a man with laying on the floor bleeding from his head,” he he he …..
Hey we just lost a thousand dollars…” he he he
“Hey there’s a very large fat guy with a gray mullet dressed like Elvis dancing with himself and singing Doctor Pepper commercials in what I think was Russian accented Portuguese… he he he. Actually that was kind of funny and it could have been southern accented Spanish or Portuguese. Which is really very smooth and cool sounding. (well not really)
This man strides across an intersection of Flamingo Road headed toward a local gaming establishment this week bundled against the cold oxygen bottle and assorted possessions in tow _ Photo by Royal
It’s funny the things can bring people together and giggling can drive them apart.
This week as I was riding on the highway, yes in a car, and was riding past a residentially challenged man pushing his shopping cart through an intersection on the road.
Because of traffic he was actually moving faster than my wife’s Kia triumphantly pushing his worldly possessions toward the intersection and smiling with thanksgiving appropriate because this was Thanksgiving Day. And he was going to beat all the SUVs to the intersections.
Then the train whistle above the train tracks went off and the crossing guard security barriers dropped down across the lanes of travel the man in the shopping cart was stymied in his trek toward wherever as were all of us motorists. He wrangled his cart off to the side stepped back against curb side barrier base crossed his arms in frustration. For a few minutes we were equal the shopping cart guy and I …looking at each other in mutual frustration. We had places to go after all. I to my apartment and turn on my big screen to watch Hard Ball on my flat screen and slurp coffee and fight off the effects to much Turkey with peanut butter/ cheese crackers while I channel surfed past during the commercial and He of course had to get to his spot on the road where he would sit on the ground and slurp the coffee and gobble the peanut butter cheese crackers he had stolen from the local convenience store while he watched the Pigeon make little pigeons and fight over scraps of dog food left in the grass by a wayward poodle.
For a moment we were engaged in mutual disgust with trains and waiting and assorted Thanksgiving stuck at the railroad crossing stuff.
The in the middle of this mutual simpatico my residentially challenged man giggled loudly enough to be heard over the sound of the train passing by and the warning beacon that was blaring as it crossed the intersection.
Fortunately right about that moment the barriers lifted and we were free to go on our way Thankful we didn’t have giggloma or gigglitis or gigglphrenia.
What do you call a group of evil creatures sitting in a circle at a local MacDonald’s looking at the human beings in the room with contempt aiming their evil at those same humans and giggling at the pain they cause. I call the teenage girls but you may call something else? I saw them at a MacDonald’s in the City of Sin suburbs. The suburbs for Freak’s sake the gigglers are everywhere.
People tend to do things in groups sometimes even without realizing it. This is not always bad because people tend to laugh more in groups, laughter and giggling is a form of communication I’m told with deeper meaning. “There a fire alarm going off and smoke is coming from the bathroom,” he he he
Whatever …. As always such is life in the City of Sin
Til next time
Rock On Fellow Sinners