June 25, 2015 by Royals Sin City Journal

As much a part of the landscape as casinos and cocktails _ photo by Royal Hopper

The Daisy Chain and you have what you bring

By Royal Hopper

Lets start this weeks missive off with a test . . . . .

They are coming man ..they are _ Photo by Royal Hopper

Las Vegas is a happy place full of rainbows and unicorns and pretty girls who love ugly poor guys where nothing bad ever happens .ever and you can walk down the street naked without a worry or care ..yaaaaaaaayyyy yaaaaaayyyy yaaaaaayyyy..

Sin City baby … all about the Fairy Tale – Photo by Royal Hopper

True or false ?? No really true or false
No of course not dumbass Las Vegas is a dangerous place dedicated to decadence, wealth and making money for guys named Biff and Little Jimmy and the Proton group. The daisy chain came to the City of Sin once again this .. . . . Ravers from all of North America descended on Sin City..

They danced half naked _ dressed like Indians, Pirates giant anthropomorphic cats and Anime characters named something that doesn’t translate particularly well and people all over the city stopped as the daisy chain was passing by and said .. . . “oh look naked people in costume . . . . again I wonder whats for lunch. . . .”

This city is built on mass produced decadence and illusions of uniqueness hundreds of half naked dancing the stoned night away barely warranted a second look or to paraphrase Anne Rice’s famous vampire hero. .. The City of Sin already fed on the blood of the innocent ..Our precense there barely stirred a whisper. I always loved that line .

The bright colors of summer _ photo by Royal Hopper

When you come to Vegas you will have exactly what you bring with you.. If you are a drunk you will be a drunk surrounded by cheap and plentiful alcohol. If you are a horn dog you will be in a city full of pros and horny cougars with time to waste and your girlfriend or soon to be ex wife will be surrounded by good looking professional liars and pick up artists.

Vegas will not make you badder or better looking and except for a few of the more talented professional gamblers ..it will not make you richer.

If you are constantly battling Mr Ganja I promise you someone in your hotel has a truck load of it. Vegas does not change who you are. Chances are unless you are actually one of those rare talents the casinos are always chasing away if you are broke when you arrive you will be broke when you leave. It doesn’t create the demons inside you but it does often let them out to play.

The sign says it all _ Photo by Royal Hopper

To the dude walking down the street dressed like Cochise with the X-babe clinging to his arm. “Dude you do know that when she stops tripping and figures out what planet you are on ..shes going to ditch you. You know that right. Is that right ..Is that justice ..Is that the fairy tale you were sold when you booked this vacation..

No..but it is life in the City of Sin
Take care Sinners
Love you all

Dude the Village People are not cliche _ photo by Royal Hopper

June 17, 2015 by Royals Sin City Journal

It is called the City of Sin for a reason by Royal Hopper

The Logic of Sin ..City that is

By Royal Hopper
A man walks down the middle of the street his hands cupped his back bent a poorly affected look of desperation on his weather beaten face.
One might guess that he is so poor that he cant afford a piece of cardboard and a marker to make a sign saying something about ninjas having stolen his wallet and he needs karate lessons to get it back or even the famous “Hungry, Homeless anything helps” standard.

Sin baby Sin by Royal Hopper

In the modern corporate Sin City_ it seems, even bums pinch pennies for cost efficiency. Why spend dough on a sign and pen when you have hands and junior high drama class acting lessons.

This week lets talk about parties. There are certain rules to having a party in the confines of a Sin City hotel.

1.) You have to tell the hotel you are having the party. I just invited a few friends over to watch movies and someone broke out the cocaine simply will not do.

2.) Do not post the party on Facebook and make sure you have room for the people who are invited. Hotel rooms are made for six or seven people at most a even dozen if it is an average suite.. Many more than that and you will probably be asked to leave and will likely be felt up buy the strange cross dressing genderless figure who snuck in with his sister/brother/cousin Fred.

3) Do not start group chants that echo through the hallways of the hotel you are staying in ..This is crazy and will get you kicked out ..and don’t shout random quotes from horror movies or cheers from your high school football days as words like “kill em all kill em all dead dead dead.will probably get you evicted and/or arrested and put im the same cell with guys who have long conversations with Elvis and other people who have been dead for 30 years.

a jogger _ Royal Hopper

4) Lastly put some damn clothes on before you leave the room ..even in Las Vegas walking around a casino in your underwear and bathrobe is a little crazy.. . . .

That’s life in the City of Sin

Take care Sinners

by Royal Hopper

Tattoo truck being towed by Royal Hopper

June 5, 2015 by Royals Sin City Journal

A growing problem in the City of Sin drunken bicycling _ Royal Hopper

Entitled Decadence

By Royal Hopper
A bearded man holding a sign screams for all he is worth as he stands on the median of a busy Sin City Boulevard pointing at the sign he holds and then at the cars driving past him. Then he screams again and points again and screams again. He is intoxicated crazy and he will not be ignored by people who are on their way to work and other unnecessary things.

Early on another morning in the City of Sin a man stumbles across a suburban crosswalk. He is bleary eyed and uncertain but well dressed and the experienced Sin City eye can tell this man has been wrestling with Mr. jack Daniels most of the long hot desert day and night. He is stumbling back toward his residence perhaps deprived of his keys by an alert bartender or security guard.

say cheese _ Royal Hopper

He stops in the middle of the crosswalk staring down at the object in his hand uncertain of why it is making noise and traffic on the busy city street stops at that intersection because motorists waiting to turn off the busy road are waiting for him to stop staring at his cell phone and step off the crosswalk. He smiles at the cars and actually attempts to answer his cell phone.

There is a certain kind of entitled decadence in the City of Sin. It is as if some people _ because they are in Las Vegas believe with all their heart it is okay to be a drunken idiot. It is okay to crazy and not care. Its okay. The world will wait while I stand in the middle of road.. Holding a sign and shouting. It will wait while I stumble across an intersection fighting a loosing battle with ethanol babbling on my cell phone ..It will wait. It will.,.. It will wait.

This feeling of entitled decadence seems to cross all lines of wealth and class. It is the seeming motto of the modern day City of Sin. I’m drunk, I’m crazy and I am an asshole (pardon my language but it had to be said) and there is nothing you can do about it.

A Lady and a box _ Royal Hopper

It makes old guys like me and my wife curse under our breath and restrain ourselves from gunning the accelerator as various idiots stumble across the road or walk blissfully out into traffic with a smile on their face or a sign in their hands.. What does it mean ? Not a damn thing man.. It is just life in the City of Sin..

Take Care Fellow Sinners
Love you all

Jogger Report

Later still in the week a woman was engaging in the City of Sins latest trend in physical fitness Drunk Jogging . That’s when you are _ you know drunk or stoned .. . . . . . . . An begin jogging down the street for know reason in particular.

She started stumbling down a Sin City back street and then stopped and decided she had to get where she was going in a hurry and ran down the boulevard like a seasoned jogger who had wrestled with Jack Daniels all night and lost. She was obviously not sure of where she was going but seemed sure she would get there faster if she jogged.