January 27, 2015 by Royals Sin City Journal

Open 24/7 …The motto of Sin City Photo by Royal Hopper

Begging from Strangers and Designated Drinkers in Sin City

By Royal Hopper

A threesome of Sinners stumbles into the door of a Sin City casino one arm of the partially limp body of their female companion on each of their brawny shoulders _ smiles on their faces as they walk. (cue ominous music soundtrack and dark post film noir lighting)

Photo by Royal Hopper

The companion tries to break free and stumble toward a nearby bar _ a crooked smile on her face as she tries to pull away ( cue crowd noises and exclamations of surprise) but the companions pull her back from the smiling bar patrons and make their way toward a quiet dark section of City Sin sidewalk with a determined look on their faces. They are getting this woman to a quiet unseen part of the City of Sin and no one is going to stop them.

A final stumble toward the inviting bar and the Sin City threesome ducks inside a Sin City gambling house and makes their way toward the elevator lobby weaving through the Saturday night crowd of decadent hedonists without much notice. (cue police sirens and distant female scream)

The three people in the above anecdote are participants in a new trend sweeping the country. A new trend that involves the sour tasting triple locomotive demons of Rum Whiskey and Gin _ and _doesn’t involve driving. It involves walking in groups with designated drinkers and walkers .( Music soundtrack Duh Duh Duh)

Mandalay Bay Photo by Royal Hopper

In the sandy alcohol soaked regions of the west coast resort destination sometimes know as the City of Sin Drinking there is a development that is most disturbing to those dedicated partiers of the infamous Sin City. People seem to be grasping the fact that three drunks are not better than one. People are breaking off into groups and allowing one or two members of their group to get stinking drunk while the other remain sober enough to “assist” them back into the hotel of their choice.

Driving is now obsolete. ( Da Duh Duh )
Normally tradition dictates on member of a party group is designated as a driver who refrains from drinking so he can drive the drunks home. In the time honored tradition of tourist day walkers everywhere Sin City revelers have taken to a new tradition.

In this dangerous new trend driving is not necessary or encouraged. One set of healthy legs is all you need to participate.

They can be seen all over the City of Sin two walkers and designated drunk strolling through the city wisely leaving their cars in the parking garage to enjoy the night and their well earned vacation. (Cue the happy music and a threesome of tourists chasing pigeons down the boulevard)….

Good Morning Sin City _ Photo by Royal Hopper

That is life in the City of Sin
Take Care Sinners .. .. Rock on

Sin Cityscape photo by Royal Hopper

January 20, 2015 by Royals Sin City Journal

Sunrise in the City of Sin _ Rpyal Hopper

Stumbling into traffic or nobody gives a Bo Peep.

By Royal Hopper

One man stops at in the middle of a busy street in the City of Sin his pale skin reddened with rage as spews curses like tiny mid life crisis volcano. The city is busy. It barely notices.

– Royal Hopper

The small bald man is angry and is not afraid to show it. His paunch practically vibrates as hee stands in the middle of the street shouting his anger at several men who are standing on the edge of the parking lot as the tufts of hair hanging on the side of his bald head break free of their gel encasement and fly free in the cool desert air as the screaming bald man waves his hand in the air making gestures the meaning of which is probably lost in the cultural gap between the man and his antagonists.

Baldy lets call him gestures wildly cursing at the men as they calmly watch him from the safety of the nearby lot smirking as mid life crisis baldly unleashes a stream of curses at the much younger yuppie order enforcers.

You might say the sight of a bald drunken man standing in the middle of the road gesturing wildly at well dressed order enforcers as he curses like a ship full of drunken Yankee sailors would stop traffic and draw the attention of people all around the busy street. You could say that but you would be wrong. This is Las Vegas .nobody cares. It was Thursday.

Later that week an old Vegas urban legend comes to life. An anonymous lost soul, a man so drunk that when he stoops to worship the porcelain god which it turns out was actually a trash can looses his balance and head first falls into the aluminum trash can kicking his feet. That tale told on a Friday.

Sin City street scene _ Royal Hopper

Yet another lost soul clad in a sheet and little else stumbles from a hotel doorway convinced someone is after him. The City briefly glances at him shocked out of its decadent hyperactive daze like a bored presented with a sight it cannot ignore or roll its eyes at.

Then like a bored child ignores the man as the corners of the sheet turn up occasionally exposing sections of naked flesh in desperate need of moisturizer and perhaps a little vitamin D.

It is a long week in the City of Sin . In the last segment of the seven day adventure in Sin a man strides drunkenly strode across the a Sin City Boulevard staggering in front of vehicles as they slow down for a red traffic light waving as he steps with a confidence that screams drunken rich tourist with a low IQ and more money that he knows how to spend.

by Royal Hopper

And that also bears the questions. What kind of idiot gets kicked out of the Hoff Brau house _ seriously. How do you stumble of a doorway naked and get angry when people laugh at you . This dude got kicked out of the geekiest German restaurant in the known world on a Thursday. What do you call it. What do you call it when suicidal idiot actual walks out into traffic smiling as he waves at oncoming cars, some of which are surely stoned or drunk.

In the City of Sin we call it breakfast, seven days a week 24 hours a day _ all the time.

That is life in the City of Sin brothers and sisters

Take Care Sinners

by Royal Hopper

January 13, 2015 by Royals Sin City Journal

Photo by _ Royal Hopper

Beer Pong and Rainy “Daze” in the City of Sin

Rain came to the City of Sin. On a normal day the rooftops of the City of Sin are dry as the bones of the Sinners that built it and are buried in it’s dusty ethanol and blood stained concrete.
The city was restless, angry and ..wet and it smelled bad like a wet dog that had been a three day bender for weeks. (Think about it)

– Photo by Royal Hopper

The city is hungry, corrupt, decadent and dangerous but its not usually angry because it just doesn’t give a crap.

This week the triple weirdness of rain, Beer Pong, gadget geeks mixed with 80s freaks named Ian wearing make up and spiked black leather flooded the city like a film Noir nightmare named after a Humphrey Bogart movie (look it up).

Before I start on this weeks simple lesson let me add this simple homily. Don’t whip out your questionably sized assets and pee on the ground in public. It is not a good idea. Also if don’t berate employees at the Gambling houses you visit and make veiled threats. It doesn’t make you tough it makes you an asshole.
The crowd was tense late last week as the team of alternative athletes from New Jersey paused for effect in front of their goal ready to make the championship shot with everything on the line.

photo by Royal

The noise of the crowd and their rowdy opponents leaving the Jersey shore champions unfazed as they concentrated on their goals. The small white ball they held in their hands was aimed unwaveringly at the waxed covered containers across the beer stained table in the front of them.
The contestant from New Jersey pauses for effect and then hurls the small white ball several feet and shouts in glee as the white sphere plunks softly in the liquid filled drink cup. New Jersey is $50,000 richer and a new Beer Pong National champion has been crowned.. Que the applause and cheers and cries of I was cheated.

A beer drinking ping pong ball throwing Civil War erupted in the City of Sin This week. I kid not there is a Beer Pong Championship and it pays $50,000 to the winner. Makes me wish I drank more as a young man.

The week of Beer Ponging was full of Sin City fun including controversies clever team and player nicknames like “Pity the Fool” “I Want to Get Wasted” and more conventional monikers like “ Tally and Alanis .

by Royal Hopper

There were controversies, threats made by disappointed alternative athletes over judgment calls made by referees, threatening posts on Facebook and mea culpas spoken in front of adoring fans.

The action moved indoors as the night time temperatures briefly dipped into the 20s and then warmed up just as suddenly and broke out in rain. The working girls brought their work in doors and all those troublesome homeless guys and interesting characters who talk to invisible cartoon characters suddenly became less crazy and annoying in an effort to not be thrown out into the cold and stay indoors where it was warmer.

It was in short just another week in the life of Sin City alternative athletics and another week in the life of the City of Sin..

sunrise in the City of Sin _ Photo by Royal Hopper

Take Care Sinners

January 5, 2015 by Royals Sin City Journal

Sin City file photo from July – Royal Hopper

The year of Living: 2015

by Royal Hopper

One man and his McDonalds bag stood alone on a Sin City sidewalk. The man stood alone looking down at the bag like a statue not moving he seemed to say. I have breakfast I didn’t steal it and Im in clean clothes ..yaaaaaaayyyyyy.

Later that day another man could not remember what city he was in lay on the carpeted floor of a local gambling house while others looked nervously at their watch and slurped on their third or fourth or 19th mixed drink.

"Friendly conversation between Sinners" _ Royal Hopper

“Friendly conversation between Sinners” January 2014 _ Royal Hopper

We all celebrate the coming New Year in different ways. I went to a movie and tried to get some sleep before 12 hours of dodging drunks and keeping order in a Sin City gambling house this gentleman contemplated the contents of the fattening hamburger and fries in the grease soaked bag in his hand.

Now that the big event is history and the traditional New Years meal of Black-eyed peas cornbread and cabbage is digesting a brief recap of the years events Sin City Journal style is in order. So I will keep this week’s lesson on cognitive dissonance brief and to the point.

When you see an attractive leg walking by and you follow it with your eye letting your eyes wander upward toward the silicon assisted super structure you expect to see a fantastic looking Sin City Diva strutting her stuff on the boulevard in a $5,000 evening gown. When

Iconic Sin City sign holder file photo February _ Royal Hopper

your tired cynical eyes finally find the face of this silicon femme fatale and take a good look and you realize Franchesca is probably Frank and she has 5 – o’clock shadow as thick as your salt and pepper stubble it causes a sever case of Sin City psychic dissonance or SCPD. _ something common in this burg and something likely to continue as the year goes on.
Cognitive dissonance is the psychological condition that occurs when the actual events of the day so conflict with preconceived norms that it causes psychic pain in the viewer. Lets review the top twelve cases or so cases of cognitive dissonance in the City of Sin this year.

Nothing in this town is as it seems. Everything is contrived and spun to sell an image and make money. If you come to the city of Sin never assume anything. No that girl at the bar doesn’t like you for your personality. She is a pro.

Las Vegas area landscape from February 2014 because it is cool _ Royal Hopper

This town loves people of all sorts. If you have money to spend you are good with us Sinners and if not hit the road buddy _ go to church _ take the family to the park watch pay per view for a couple of dollars. Don’t come to Sin City if you are desperate. It will eat you alive Gucci bag, false eyelashes expensive tie and all.

Question: Doesn’t it look cool when you practice yo yo tricks in a casino in the City of Sin. As the usual parade of Sin Coty party animals are watching you twirl and throw and gesture with grand design as the ancient device of dorks and nerds everywhere dances obediently in your hand.

Answer: No

Events in Sin City Journal:

https://royalsincitymissive.com/2014/01/29/this-aint-iceland-dude-watch-your-stuff/

St Patrick’s Day revelers discuss the previous Days events March of 2014 – Royal Hopper

also march 2014 _ Royal Hopper

https://royalsincitymissive.com/2014/02/ Whckjob tourist or denizen
https://royalsincitymissive.com/2013/03/ You Can’t Eat Money and then there is Mario
https://royalsincitymissive.com/2013/04/ How to talk to bikini clad nuns
https://royalsincitymissive.com/2013/05/ People are Strange in the City of Sin and in Utah
https://royalsincitymissive.com/2014/06/ What Day is it Man ? Or What day is it man
https://royalsincitymissive.com/2014/07/ Don’t Pee on Another Man’s Shrubbery
https://royalsincitymissive.com/2014/08/ The call of the drunken Speckled Belly Woohoo
https://royalsincitymissive.com/2014/09/ The tale of two couples
https://royalsincitymissive.com/2014/10/ What Were They Thinking
https://royalsincitymissive.com/2014/11/ Disco Dancing in the City of Sin
https://royalsincitymissive.com/2014/12/ The Night before X-Mas
First of all in the early days of 2014 a man from some somewhere else discovered walking down Las Vegas Boulevard with no pants in designer shoes attracts attention, a tourist from Iceland that people in the city of Sin do bad things if you give them your credit card number. They are called credit card phishers Blinka dear and yes they are bad people.

Sin City street artists April 2014 – Royal Hopper

Then in February people discovered that the Super Bowl had been in January and dressing head to toe in Denver Orange isn’t the greatest new thing

In March people discovered that there really was no such thing as DisgrungaPunkie Rap and the tickets they bought from the street vendor were probably a hustle and that wearing green doesn’t make you Irish.

In May the city was filled with Dumb Ass Drama Queens or DADQU _ enough said.

In July we found that even men who visit the city of Sin are not immune to date rape ????

Halloween hit Sin City like a hammer..Little boy blue come blow your horn the tourists are dressing like freaks that true
Little Bo Peep is dressed in blue too..
Bwuhahah haha ha haha
RIP Baby _ Royal
Elvis is passing out flyers on the street
And Wookies dancing nearby are keeping the beat ……From Halloween’s issue

a devil for the Sinners _ April – Royal Hopper

Skipping ahead to June and one tourists discovered that it is not 1983 and Van Halen hasn’t been hot for a long time. In July we learned not to piss on another man’s shrubbery
Later in the year we learned of the musical movement of Disgrungipunkical .how couples meld into the Sin City milieu and learned the Sin City version of the Night Before Christmas.

And lastly we learned that you cant possible look cool playing with a yo-yo and that any contest with beer in the name really is just an excuse to drink beer.
http://www.yoyomuseum.com/
Such is life in the City of Sin for another year
Take Care fellow Sinners

Posing for pictures in the City of Sin _ Royal Hopper

Well does it ????

The City of Sin at Night _ Photo by Royal Hopper

Linq sign …file photo Royal Hopper

Hanging out on the strip _ file photo Royal Hopper

City at night 3 September 2014

A fitting decoration for a Sin City casino..The piper is calling you to ….to blackjack and complimentary show tickets and showgirls named Bell etc etc .. file Photo Royal Hopper