a suset

Sunset of the Caribbean…Photo by Royal Hopper

It rained this week..poured …like a Gulf Coast thunderstorm after a week of scorching and for a few sacred hours it was sultry warm and moist in the City of Sin…a bone chilling 90 degrees bad pun intended…..

The Sun changes everything

 

by Royal Hopper
This time of year in the desert is the time of unforgiving heat high winds and dry, dry air. taking a walk here is a little like living under a giant blow dryers. When those Santana winds start blowing the spaces between all the neon palaces scattered around this bastion of decadent artificiality becomes hostile enough to even put a dog off eating scraps….Here is what I mean.IMG_20180710_132927.jpg
My dogs all three of them will eat anything on the ground ..week old hotdogs …chicken wings that have been lying in the shrubs for days ….a piece of a hamburger she stole from a pigeon ..anything edible mind you …. One of the most raveneous of my three canine friends came upon a pile of leftovers laying on the asphalt while out on one of our daily walks …….someone probaly in a drunken state and simply dropped their lunch on the ..then ground and left it days before. It had baked in the desert sun for days of 100 plus degree days on the asphalt … Reddy, the dog’s name, took a brief sniff of the petrified food sniffled, growled a little ..sneezed a little and walked away …
When its 112 degrees in the desert and you can fry a 12 ounce Porterhouse on the hood of the derelict Toyota parked and ten minutes outside makes you feel like moving to Canada for the summer…it tends to take the romance and mystery out of living in the City of sin.

frozen

“Frozen” on a cruise ship Oasis of the Sea_ Royal Hopper

When a pigeon normally so shy you cant get within five feet of it before it flies away raises its wings and arches its back like its going to fight you for the spot of shade it has found

Dogs seem to have a philosophy like the old joke…If you cant eat,, screw it or talk to it ..if it smells bad and hurts you when you chew on it and makes you sneeze ..piss on it and walk away….
What does all this mean.. It means its the desert and it gets hot in the summer genius …thats all ..

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A pigeon with a bum leg begging for food from tourists in the Bahamas ..Royal Hopper

Thats life in the City of Sin
Love You Sinners
you know its hot ….

There is an old saying that goes something like and please forgive my language on this … you never bullshit a bullshitter …

flat on rock igauana

This iguana photographed on the docks in St Thomas seems to be saying and I aint moving – Royal Hopper

The cruise,  the bait’and the lesson

by Royal Hopper
Its probably something a young French woman on the Carribbean island of St Maarten might have done well to remember.
Long story short..The wife and I went on a Caribbean Cruise in the you know Caribbean. It was a wonderful once in a lifetime vacation …One of the stops was an Island called St. Maarten. Its half Dutch and half French if you can believe it. That is something like something being half in New Jersey and half in Montreal but it works I guess….

elton john imitation

Private Stock the ships rock band on the Oasis of the Seas pays tribute to Elton john during a show on board -Royal Hopper

She was quite fetching this young French beauty ..if she even was French as we were on the Dutch side of the Island. She had the tan of a professional beach bum the kind of tan caucasion people only get when they live on the beach. Her clothing was just corny and tie dyed enough to set you at ease…
I live in Las Vegas and when the young woman walked up to me and my wife and began her promotional pitch I had already heard it so many times from time share salesman and hos and con men I could have repeated from memory without rehearsal because the pitch of a con man and and a salesman is very similar. She even managed to flutter her eyes at me flerting without taking her eyes off my beloved. She was good this one….
Here take these scratch offs she said and we did and scratch off all the card …and low and behold one of the cards was a grand prize…..

frozen couple on ice

Frozen takes to the ice on Oasis of the Seas Caribbean tour_ Royal Hopper

“If you go to the presentation you get a prize and I get a commission,” she said This young woman in sales and con man parlance is called the greeter or the meeter or the bait some such thing. The greeter gets their attention and some kind of gimic and gets then to go to a sales meeting selling time shares or condos or to get robbed. She kept repeating how she was practicing her English.
“No thank you,” we said handing the cards back to her. She looked downtrodden and wondered what she was goign to do with the cards.
“You can give them to someone,” we said putting on our best air of Sin City indifference as we walked on.reggae band port bahamas.JPG
Had we taken the appointment we would have gone to the second step of the sales/con process… The Setter ..teh set up man etc etc ..The person who sets the couple up for as sale nd then the closer the person who closes the deal ….the sale or who takes your down payment and runs off with it …

Remember that folks ..the greeter or Bait followed by the Setter followed by the closer and when your instincts tell you its a con listen to them …We did

Thats life on a Caribbean Cruise in city of Sin and everywhere

Love you Sinners

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Here is a woman paying the bills by braiding hair and the beautiful woman sitting down is my wife- Royal Hopper

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and there is always the poor