What Day is it Man ? Or What day is it man

The EDC comes to the City of Sin

By Royal Hopper  

As they walked across the McCarran airport baggage claim floor two tutu clad linebackers strolled confidently across know three things.
They looked good in pink, outweighed the people giggling at them by at least 60 pounds and they were in the City of Sin for one thing..to dance the night away surrounded by bikini clad ravers who know where they are about half the time.

So I am standing in the baggage claim at McCarran airport waiting for my beloved daughter to get back from Boston when I spied these two tutu clad buff boys. It was sight that almost floored me even after 15 years off an on in the City of Sin..

The Electric Daisy Carnival has danced its glittery, fluorescent bikini clad way into the City of Sin.

A few days later the weight lifting tutu wearing Daisy ravers were spotted stumbling back into a Las Vegas hotel weary half naked and surrounded by bikini clad beauties the odd bits of glitter still hanging from the dirty sweat stained tutus.
One young lady in the crowd is certain she is staying at the hotel but simply cannot remember which one and another seems certain that she hears the school bell ringing in the middle of the noisy casino and she is going to be late for class. Her legs move like she is trying to run but worn out from dancing and whatever chemical enhancement she used to dance the night away her legs just shuffle a bit.

“Nice costume,” I quip to one Mohawk wearing raver. “Yeah, its cool I got it out of my grandfathers closet,” he laughed giggling a bit answered and then straightening up and asking in a polite respectful voice.”Sir where is the restroom?” Suddenly feeling very old I cut off the last vestige of vintage 1986 hipsterism l was preparing to say as it formed in my mind and pointed to the sign indicating where the restroom was.

The Electric Daisy Carnival is the younger generations answer to the Grateful Dead. Electronic dance music coupled with bright neon leggings, rainbows of hair dye and costumes of every size, shape and description.

It is all about partying til you drop and dancing til you can’t anymore much like the slogan written on the rear windshield of car with California plates in white shoe polish.

“Eat, Sleep, Rave, Repeat,” read the rear windshield as the vehicle that carried it drove down Las Vegas Boulevard. “Rave on,” said another. .My favorite EDC was uttered by a Raver who was asked how many days the carnival had left. Her answer was a simple and straightforward..She answered with a question.
“I don’t know. What Day is it..?” she said looking down at her watch and smiling back at the questioner with tired dance worn eyes..

That life in the City of Sin

And in the words of my generation..
Rock On Sinners

Eat, Sleep, Rock Repeat

What the hell is Rave anyway ???

Riddle me this Sinners????
What does it mean when a man with a closely trimmed Breakfast Club beard wearing a plastic tiara storms up to casino employees and demands a Band Aid ( It is a copyrighted name) because he cut himself shaving his legs and was bleeding all over the place. Stay tuned for the answer.

The second question of the week is more straight forward . When is being good at something bad.

One of many anonymous sign holders in the City of Sin – Photo by Royal Hopper

I am not with him/her I swear

By Royal Hopper

Many years ago as I looked across the humid biscuit and bacon scented air of my grandmothers southeast Texas kitchen I heard the words, “ Abraham Lincoln was a hippie who needs to get a real job, Elvis is a communist and the secret of really good 15 minute cornbread is bacon grease and salt,” from someone whose name is lost in the mist of four decades of memory. He could have been a thankfully distant relative or one of Grandmas neighbors but he looked lie he stepped right out of a really bad TV version of a James Faulkner novel.

An oldie but a goodie – Photo by Royal Hopper

He looked a little like the Jack Daniels enhanced duo of ner do wells seen swapping purloined slot tickets or the pair of pregnant hookers seen dragging a drunken businessman toward a set of nearby elevators.

The thing is down south where I grew up most people, even those who can’t tie their shoes without a staff of helpers can cook a little. Even down in the macho land of cotton where men are men and cattle smile all the time_ people you wouldn’t trust to clip your toe nails can make a mean plate of ribs or a meatloaf that would melt in your mouth.
Every macho southern man can make at least one “man safe” macho meal, like barbecued steak, a pot of gumbo or three alarm chili and most southern women can do things with Rice a Roni that will spin your head like a Bessie Bug..
It is just part of the culture.

Anyway this character whose name I do not remember, smelled like beer, peanuts, hair oil and the bottle of Old Spice he had likely snagged from one of my grandfathers garbage trucks. In short he was colorful southern character from a bad B-movie.
“I seen aliens before.” .he said, “They are here.”

Just last week I saw a man on Las Vegas Boulevard give an intense lecture to a crowd of invisible fans about the inevitable landing of space aliens in preparation for an intergalactic barbecue. Who knew the aliens were southerners..

As, lets call him Billy Jo Ray Bob Jedidiah or Jed for short, he was explaining his recipe for cornbread and sugar cookies and the ways to survive alien encounters he also explained how he, after drinking a twelve pack had fallen asleep in his oldest brother’s dog house and how it wasn’t his fault.

I have no idea but it was weird so here it is. Tropicana Avenue about a week ago – Photo by Royal Hopper

This week in the City of Sin a man fell asleep on a Sin City street corner in a dress, black leather boots and a rainbow garters. At least I think it was a man and I think he was only sleeping..

As another person who once again I did not know told his fortune with a pack of playing cards they had “purchased” at a nearby Gas and Go he smiled through the mile wide gap in his front teeth added that he didn’t believe in the Easter Bunny, that unleaded gasoline was a communist plot, Fluoride was a myth and family reunions were not the exiting singles scene they were made out to be . (okay maybe I made that last part up)

The point of this random memory from 40-years ago, when polyester was king and hair oil was still a fashion option, is that simply the reason so many of my fellow southerners are fat is that they can all cook a little and many are very good at it..

The reason my current home Las Vegas, the City of Sin is so full of players is that we can all act a little we can all pretend and sell the image of Sin City. It is just part of the culture

As to the reason why Flash Dance inspired living in the 80s drama queens get so bitchy when asking for a band aid ..you got me brother _ I just work here.

And you knew what the cornbread that weird dude cooked was actually really good. .

A list of things not do in the City of Sin

* Do not wear a leisure suit or a mullet to a formal dinner. I can tell you from personal experience it doesn’t work….

* You should not get drunk and fall off an escalator twice and then fall into a wheelchair lifty and then tell people five guys beat you up took your money and claim not to speak English until a cop whop is fluent in that language shows up.

* You should not come to Vegas on your honeymoon and spend the day drinking with your brother in law and tell your teary eyed newlywed wife to go away. Chances aere buddy you aint going to get laid tonight.

* Don’t scream at hotel security in one Sin City gambling House that the leader of this nation and two of his invisible body guards were right behind her shooting her in the back as she pointed at an empty stretch of carpet nearby.

* Don’t invite people you don’t know into your room and then tell people she/he was a nice girl/guy and there was no promise of money to come to your room and you were really shocked when the $1,200 and the 1953 Elvis Presley decoder ring you put on the nightstand was gone when you got out of the shower.

* If you are 70 years old don’t offer to show casino patrons a good time for a little beer money..

Homeless and Happy
By Royal Hopper

“Homeless and Happy” read the words scrawled in black magic marker in childlike script on one side of a souvenir paper fan.
Dug from its home in the depths of grimy sweat soaked black back pack the fans lay beside a grooming kit, assorted papers, a small knife and two “lucky Playing Cards.

The usual plea for funds “Homeless and Hungry” used by those who make their spending money by asking for it was not scrawled on top of one of the fans. Instead the fans owner had written “Homeless and Happy.”  He was homeless and he liked it apparently ????

Written beneath those telling words were the somewhat disconcerting words “will do anything for money.” Beneath it was a price list for his most popular street side faire.

$1 to tell any joke..$
2 to sing a song or do a dance said the sign

The backpack that contained the fans was discovered inside a Sin City landmark was ragged, well used and to be honest it kind of smelled. From the contents of the pack it was clear the owner had no regrets about his transient lifestyle.

If you live and work in the City of Sin. It is inevitable that you are asked for money by someone who is down on their luck. Usually their story is one of woe and/or hunger.
Maybe the woman who stopped me in the Wal_Mart Parking lot wearing nicer clothes than I was really did need diapers for her baby. Maybe but I doubt it.. It was probably a line and given the fact my family was scrambling like hell to find a replacement for my 13-year-old pick up before it bites the big one so I can get to work and the fact that after paying our bills and trying to put something away for retirement I had less than $20 in my locket until payday I was not in the mood to be played.

However it is worth noting that not everybody who lives and performs on the streets of the City of Sin is there out of desperation or the desire to scam their way into prosperity. ..some are just being who they are and some are honest about it.

The other side of the sign read “Donations Cash or marijuana are acceptable”

That is life in the City of Sin
Rock on fellow Sinners

Take care