Rolling Your Eyes at The World
By Royal Hopper
Today as I drove down Las Vegas boulevard toward a busy intersection with a green light past the “butterfly woman” three men handing out flyers and a family dressed like Sponge Bob I spotted a fellow Sinner (Las Vegan). This tan, dusky beauty princess was waiting for the light to change in all her severely cut polyester uniformed glory so she could cross the street a block or so down the road.
I was peopled out for the day just trying to get home.
As the light turned yellow and I coasted past a costumed poser _ a stilt wearing Uncle Sam decked out in red white and blue the Sinner waiting to cross the street stepped forward to make her way toward the other side of the street.
As the light began to turn red I idled past the squads of identically clad tour group tourists snapping photos like their lives depended on it and began pulling to stop toward a now red traffic light.
The Sinner, this fellow Las Vegan and I made eye contact right as she was being “assaulted” by the hordes of photo taking tourists trying to include her in their pictures. (Okay I may have done it once or twice). One of them stumbled into the street causing a taxi to swerve into my lane of travel. “Damn.,” I said to no one in particular mostly because I was alone in the car and it would have been weird to talk to people who weren‘t there. ( Isnt that right Beauregard. Everybody meet my imaginary friend Beauregard. Don’t take offense she‘s shy)
The Sinner stepped off the median to get away from the hordes of tourists but had to jump back as a car with out of state plates ignored the turning light and pedestrian crosswalk shouting woohoooo as they barreled through the intersection one of them shouting hey ass**** as they did so. We exchanged glances again as, like locals tend to do, she stared down a potential panhandler who was approaching her and did I when he stepped into the street to approach my car.
Our eyes met, this Sinner and I, right as a driver of a car in front of me in the turn lane to my left bolted out of his lane honked its horn and cursed at me for interfering with his illegal lane change by you know not doing anything illegal.
With seconds remaining in her cross the street signal she started out onto the pedestrian crosswalk only to be stopped by Las Vegas PD (We just call them Metro) barreling after the idiot who ran the red light.
Finally the traffic light turned green and I began to idle forward toward the turn down the road that led to my south Las Vegas home exchanged looks of mutual disgust at our fellow humans. We both rolled our eyes at the antics of the normal humans infesting our belovedly strange city and frustrating our attempts to go home with their attempts to be spoon fed, crazy, naïve and all around clueless.
She smiled and giggled a little as I made faces at the lounging tourist around her and for a moment we were fellow travelers besieged by shuffling masses who helped pay our wages. We both shrugged and she managed a half wave as the light began to change yellow again as I stepped on the accelerator and headed toward home. The shrug was a way of saying oh well what can you do followed by the head shake of fellow travelers
It had been a busy week in Sin City.
The city was full of the usual suspects_ conventioneers, young people spending money they didn’t have, and old people pretending to be young. There were chicks named Ashley asking directions to the outlet Mall ( Like can you tell me where the like Mall is …like) and someone who walked around dressed like a pumpkin because you know she could.
Such is life in the City of Sin
Take care Sinners
Until next meet and roll our eyes at the world again.