This 2,000 pound Bison was seen crossing the road as Bison that weight 2,000 pounds are prone to do_ Royal Hopper
Every tourist trap has its denizen __ the creatures that locals and those in authority tell you to stay away from.
You see such a denizen preparing to cross the street and it was huge. Its dark brown hair all but covering its intense uncaring brown eyes and it strolled down the asphalt causing fascinated tourists to snap pictures nervously.
The denizen of this tourist trap roadway looks at the gathering crowd of suntan lotion and Bermuda shorts clad tourists and stands fast as one of the curious picture taking tourists inches closer to him to take pictures threatening to provoke this huge browned haired denizen into action.
About that time a patrol car full of authority figures rolls onto the scene points a loud speaker out of the car and says…
“Stay away from the Bison go back to your cars. It is mating season and the bulls are very aggressive,” the Yellowstone Park Ranger said her voice ringing with authority and some frustration with the
usual perils of tourists screwing with the local denizens. This event occurred during a vacation at Yellowstone National Park but it just as easily could have been in Vegas. Tourists are the same everywhere and every locale has its dangers whether it be 2,000 pound bovines looking for a date or muggers looking for a wallet.
A denizen of Sin City _ Royal Hopper
In another place denizens like mermaids, pirates, giant anthropomorphic Octopi people, Spongebobs, Captain Crabby and Gilligan stalked the hallways of a local establishment. Tough, tall chicks with colored hair and scars on their tone bodies were everywhere. Dont mess with these chicks boyo …you will lose. One of these chicks carried a black bag laden with suspicious looking weighty objects…
She sets to bag down for a minute looking around to see if anybody is watching and then picks the bag up with some effort and squelches a gasp when several items fall out of the bag fall to the floor.
The tough chick looks panicked and worried as she scurries to pick up the items and local security walks over to sea what this suspicious tough chick with the multi colored hair is doing and unconsciously picks an object off the ground and hands it to the woman. ..
Who says thanks turns three shades red and takes vibrating rounded cylinder and stuffs it back in the bag along with the sports bras and pairs of skates it contained. No not guns or drugs just roller derby stuff..
A blast from the past. The old Riviera was a part of old Vegas.. Now gone the way of the dinosaurs _ Royal Hopper
We went to Yellowstone and then we came back to Vegas. What is the lesson here. Perhaps tht most tourists destinations have some things in common no matter how different they are.
So here are a few rules for visiting anywhere anytime especially the City of Sin.
Rules of Sin in the City
By Royal Hopper
“Where’s my stuff,” the man said looking around the casino with the unmistakeable look the sanity challenged often get when
their invisible friends from the Illuminati steal their magic comb while they are communing with the spirits pf Elvis and Paris Hilton.( Yes I know Paris Hilton is still alive but this gentleman was not so sure.)
“I left my stuff right here,” the man said his wardrobe of casino free giveaways soaked with flop sweat ashe realized his precious stuff was missing.
“I am with Mossad you know,” the man said looking t the security officers who had been called to corral his strange behavior.
“Where I am from people know how to treat a customer.” he said
Trabslation: I left my stuff unattended on a slot machine in Vegas while I went to the bathroom for half an hour and now I am pissed because I know I am an idiot and want you to compensate me for it…
The exchange goes on a a few minutes and finally the casinos order keeper tell the mn he has to go up to his room and cease causing a disturbnce.
“Good idea he says,” with look of childish excitement on his face, “my stuff might be there.”
On the way up to his room the man suddenly realized his stuff was in the shopping bag he had been holding in his hand the entire time.
In the worn shopping bag nedt to assorted junk, food items and casino gaming tokens was a loaded .40 caliber pistol .
None of this is all that unusual. It is the way it is …It is life in the City of Sin
Love You Sinners Take Care
The rules are as follows.
1.. Abandoned property _ If you leave stuff alone unattended and somebody takes it is your fault and you are not going to get compensated for it.
Don’t leave credits on a slot machine while you go to the bathroom or eat lunch and while some places allow you to reserve a slot machine..
If stuff comes up missing while you are gone you are SOL. TAKE YOUR STUFF WITH YOU You will not get comped if it is gone and security has their hands full keeping the peace
and the slot attendants have their hands full running the slot floor. If your stuff is gone blame yourself.
Casino security has its hands full keeping the peace and keeping an eye on weirdos and drunks like you and doesn’t have time to baby sit you. Take Your Stuff With you or Somebody will take it. If your lucky an alert
security officer might find it first and put it in lost and found but probably not.
2. Showing skin_ If you dress strangely or show some skin you are going to get stared at get over it. Whether its in front of a bubbling geyser or a bank of slot machines if you show skin you are going to get looked at..
Note most tourist destinations will not allow you to roam around shirtless ans yes they can make you leave if you refuse.
3. Bring your freaking ID: While you are not required to show it ..you have to have ity to be where there is gambling or drinking and security
is fully justified in telling you to leave if you dont have it or refuse to show it… That is the law in most places including most National Parks.
4. Somebodys out to get me: I promise you no one is out to get you. Dont mistake our good manners and professionalism for concern about your place in the universe. We just don’t give a crap enough
to single you out. We are not out to get you…
5. Bringing kids to Las Vegas is silly and :: Dont bring you freaking kids to Las Vegas and if you do make note they are not ALLOWED TO STOP OR HANG OUT ON THE GAMING FLOOR …NOT EVEN FOR A minute. Nevada gaming law
clearly states that you kids and anybody under 21-year of age cannot loiter where ther is gambling or drinking. It doesn’t matter who you are your kids cannot be in the casino.
6. Put everybody who needs access to your room on the room registration. If you forget your keys we will not let you in the room unless you are on it.
7. Pay for your room in advance. Rates can change $100 in a day and reservations dont garauntee price…..