The other day I heard not just one but two tourists say something wise about their trip to Las Vegas.
“I lost everything in my daily budget and I had to quit for the day whether its 9 in the morning or midnight,” said the man as he headed for his room. I about fell to the floor when I heard another tourist repeat the same wisdom. “I had fun,” said the all American type with the Midwestern accent generic polo shirt and curly over groomed hairdo, “but I my budget says I need to call it a night,”
These men understand Las Vegas surprisingly well for young men. They read the signs and listen to the lore. They understand that In a strange way Las Vegas is the most honest place in the world. It is as if you walk in the doors and it shouts at you ” Hey I am going to take your money. Dude seriously this is Vegas I am going to take your money.”
The thing these men realized and the thing we all love about the City of Sin is its honesty about being dishonest. It is a crass place dedicated to greed, lust and decadence and doesn’t pretend otherwise.
That is why it calls itself The City of Sin and the Big Apple or the Windy City or the City by the Bay. This is the City of Sin and we exist to take your money, make you drink to much, make you take strangers up to your room who will steal from you when your in the bathroom (robbery involves force or the threat of force).
Somehow after more than 80 years of taking people money and proudly shouting to the world that this is the city of sin and we are going to take your money somehow people still come here thinking that this city loves them.
They still think the nice girl at the bar is really attracted to them and they still sometimes wake up minus their wallets or spend their vacation money in a day or an hour. By all means come to the City of Sin have fun. Blow off some steam and go home.
You will be fine as long as you stay in budget and remember what this City is called and why it is called that and that it is here to take your money.
Now a poem about a particularly deu@@@ couple dedicated to all the drama kings and queens who sit in corners and on stools expecting the world to kiss their ass and one particularly obnoxious goat roper couple who spent several minutes staring into each others eyes, checking to see if anybody noticed and muttering insults just loud enough to be heard but not understood. This is Vegas Baby you aint crap….
Get over your self
By Royal Hopper
To all aholes who dress like cowboys and who look like they just got buried
Who tell every tell every passing stranger that they just got married
Who act like little children pouting and scowling when somebody stares
Get over your self .. This is Vegas _ nobody cares
We say we do smile and clap like its Ellis and we just got off the Ferry
But truly to get you gone wed give you cab fares
We dont care about your cursing anyway what is a Fu@@berry
So get along little doggie and by little I mean 5 foot 4
Chuck Norris you aint so there is the door
It’s not because we care or because we have pity
Its because you are an ass and this is Sin City
So whether you drink wine or whiskey or gin
This isnt Nebraska
Its the City of Sin
Tale Care fellow Sinners