The year of Living: 2015

by Royal Hopper

One man and his McDonalds bag stood alone on a Sin City sidewalk. The man stood alone looking down at the bag like a statue not moving he seemed to say. I have breakfast I didn’t steal it and Im in clean clothes ..yaaaaaaayyyyyy.

Later that day another man could not remember what city he was in lay on the carpeted floor of a local gambling house while others looked nervously at their watch and slurped on their third or fourth or 19th mixed drink.

We all celebrate the coming New Year in different ways. I went to a movie and tried to get some sleep before 12 hours of dodging drunks and keeping order in a Sin City gambling house this gentleman contemplated the contents of the fattening hamburger and fries in the grease soaked bag in his hand.

Now that the big event is history and the traditional New Years meal of Black-eyed peas cornbread and cabbage is digesting a brief recap of the years events Sin City Journal style is in order. So I will keep this week’s lesson on cognitive dissonance brief and to the point.

When you see an attractive leg walking by and you follow it with your eye letting your eyes wander upward toward the silicon assisted super structure you expect to see a fantastic looking Sin City Diva strutting her stuff on the boulevard in a $5,000 evening gown. When

your tired cynical eyes finally find the face of this silicon femme fatale and take a good look and you realize Franchesca is probably Frank and she has 5 – o’clock shadow as thick as your salt and pepper stubble it causes a sever case of Sin City psychic dissonance or SCPD. _ something common in this burg and something likely to continue as the year goes on.
Cognitive dissonance is the psychological condition that occurs when the actual events of the day so conflict with preconceived norms that it causes psychic pain in the viewer. Lets review the top twelve cases or so cases of cognitive dissonance in the City of Sin this year.

Nothing in this town is as it seems. Everything is contrived and spun to sell an image and make money. If you come to the city of Sin never assume anything. No that girl at the bar doesn’t like you for your personality. She is a pro.

This town loves people of all sorts. If you have money to spend you are good with us Sinners and if not hit the road buddy _ go to church _ take the family to the park watch pay per view for a couple of dollars. Don’t come to Sin City if you are desperate. It will eat you alive Gucci bag, false eyelashes expensive tie and all.

Question: Doesn’t it look cool when you practice yo yo tricks in a casino in the City of Sin. As the usual parade of Sin Coty party animals are watching you twirl and throw and gesture with grand design as the ancient device of dorks and nerds everywhere dances obediently in your hand.

Answer: No

Events in Sin City Journal:

https://royalsincitymissive.com/2014/01/29/this-aint-iceland-dude-watch-your-stuff/

https://royalsincitymissive.com/2014/02/ Whckjob tourist or denizen
https://royalsincitymissive.com/2013/03/ You Can’t Eat Money and then there is Mario
https://royalsincitymissive.com/2013/04/ How to talk to bikini clad nuns
https://royalsincitymissive.com/2013/05/ People are Strange in the City of Sin and in Utah
https://royalsincitymissive.com/2014/06/ What Day is it Man ? Or What day is it man
https://royalsincitymissive.com/2014/07/ Don’t Pee on Another Man’s Shrubbery
https://royalsincitymissive.com/2014/08/ The call of the drunken Speckled Belly Woohoo
https://royalsincitymissive.com/2014/09/ The tale of two couples
https://royalsincitymissive.com/2014/10/ What Were They Thinking
https://royalsincitymissive.com/2014/11/ Disco Dancing in the City of Sin
https://royalsincitymissive.com/2014/12/ The Night before X-Mas
First of all in the early days of 2014 a man from some somewhere else discovered walking down Las Vegas Boulevard with no pants in designer shoes attracts attention, a tourist from Iceland that people in the city of Sin do bad things if you give them your credit card number. They are called credit card phishers Blinka dear and yes they are bad people.

Then in February people discovered that the Super Bowl had been in January and dressing head to toe in Denver Orange isn’t the greatest new thing

In March people discovered that there really was no such thing as DisgrungaPunkie Rap and the tickets they bought from the street vendor were probably a hustle and that wearing green doesn’t make you Irish.

In May the city was filled with Dumb Ass Drama Queens or DADQU _ enough said.

In July we found that even men who visit the city of Sin are not immune to date rape ????

Halloween hit Sin City like a hammer..Little boy blue come blow your horn the tourists are dressing like freaks that true                                   
Little Bo Peep is dressed in blue too..
Bwuhahah haha ha haha
RIP Baby _ Royal
Elvis is passing out flyers on the street
And Wookies dancing nearby are keeping the beat ……From Halloween’s issue 

Skipping ahead to June and one tourists discovered that it is not 1983 and Van Halen hasn’t been hot for a long time. In July we learned not to piss on another man’s shrubbery
Later in the year we learned of the musical movement of Disgrungipunkical .how couples meld into the Sin City milieu and learned the Sin City version of the Night Before Christmas.

And lastly we learned that you cant possible look cool playing with a yo-yo and that any contest with beer in the name really is just an excuse to drink beer.
http://www.yoyomuseum.com/
Such is life in the City of Sin for another year
Take Care fellow Sinners

Well does it ????