The Road to Eureka

By Royal Hopper

My wife and I took a long overdue vacation into northern California last week. In my mind I began comparing northern Cali tourists towns like Eureka and my home in the City of Sin. Stay tuned for my conclusion.

Giant statues of American mythological figures Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox stand near a cafe frequented by visitors to northern California tourists stops _ Photo by Royal Hopper

Leaving the City of Sin neon jungle behind for a few days we drove past the drunk guy standing by the side of the road in his skivies and leather jacket waving us impatiently onto the on ramp as he pointed to the sky and then to his watch and jumped on the Interstate headed to Eurka, California. We traveled north along the coast through Yosemite toward the Redwood National Forest and toward Eureka.
There few trees in the City of Sin and quaint and tranquil is not an adjective often used to described Las Vegas. Eureka is a quiet tourist town a short drive from the Redwood forest in the northern part of California.

The Riv

Lets Compare Eureka and Sin City

As you travel the City of Sin down the infamous tourists corridor known as the “Strip” you might notice several men dressed like Elvis..

A beach lighthouse in the fog at a Northern California beach _ Photo by Royal Hopper

As you enter the great state of California through the back roads and stop for gas as you prepare to enter the land of nuts and flakes you might notice a man at the gas station who dresses much a younger Elvis with a pony tail tied with a braided leather cord and a John Bonham mustache.
You might say .”Great costume,” to which he may reply ..”Thanks .I mean what ?????,” because apparently this Elvis dresses like that all the time while he is at work, at the gas station. Does Vegas indeed have a lot in common with the forest of California ????

In the tourist traps in and near the Forests of California toward Eureka you can eat a hamburger near a giant statue of Babe the Blue Ox or buy gas by a giant wooden carving of Big Foot or eat a hotdog by what owners of the establishment swear is the largest and oldest tree in the state, Grandfather Tree.

You can buy gas under the watchful gaze of Big Foot at this gas station in northern California _ Royal Hopper

In the City of Sin on the other hand you can get married at the Church of Elvis, you can pose for pictures with Big Bird and Little Orphan Annie and the Transformers and listen to street musicians who play impromptu disco versions of Green Day songs while occasionally checking their black felt hat for donations and you can watch women ( or men if that is your taste) dance half naked and tell well worn hand tooled jokes.

As you travel up the coast toward the mountainous beauty of Yosemite National Park and then up the coast toward the ancient Redwood forest on the northern Cali coast you can stop at the Church of Religious Science to get married which also has several outlets in Las Vegas according to Google.

In Vegas you can get married with $100 in your pocket and an hour to spare. If you a few more bucks in your pocket you can make the temporary acquaintance of a sidewalk Princess and all you have to do is hide your valuables avoid the spiked grape juice.

Driving down the highway going toward Eureka you spy things like Hooker Avenue and the exit for Weed, California. ( You have to wonder what the week ends are like in that town) and Liberal Street.

In Vegas people with signs are everywhere. Signs telling you how their families were kidnapped by ninjas and they need money to take Karate Lessons are normal parts of the Vegas experience.

the beach _ photo by Royal Hopper

In Eureka the horde of sign holding homeless seem to consist of the same six guys who cluster together on the dock near the beach smoking weed and one older woman holding a hand written sign asking for leftovers and actually taking them when offered.
Conclusion:
As you drive down the highway passed the turn off for Hooker Avenue and the town of Weed and stop for gas by the Church of Religious and the Science you think to yourself the tourists towns of California and Las Vegas are a lot alike. ,..

No don’t be a moron of course they are not alike Eureka is much smaller ..

That is life in Eureka .I mean in the City of Sin

Take Care Sinners

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