Riddle me this Sinners????
What does it mean when a man with a closely trimmed Breakfast Club beard wearing a plastic tiara storms up to casino employees and demands a Band Aid ( It is a copyrighted name) because he cut himself shaving his legs and was bleeding all over the place. Stay tuned for the answer.

The second question of the week is more straight forward . When is being good at something bad.

 

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One of many anonymous sign holders in the City of Sin – Photo by Royal Hopper

I am not with him/her I swear

By Royal Hopper

Many years ago as I looked across the humid biscuit and bacon scented air of my grandmothers southeast Texas kitchen I heard the words, “ Abraham Lincoln was a hippie who needs to get a real job, Elvis is a communist and the secret of really good 15 minute cornbread is bacon grease and salt,” from someone whose name is lost in the mist of four decades of memory. He could have been a thankfully distant relative or one of Grandmas neighbors but he looked lie he stepped right out of a really bad TV version of a James Faulkner novel.

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An oldie but a goodie – Photo by Royal Hopper

He looked a little like the Jack Daniels enhanced duo of ner do wells seen swapping purloined slot tickets or the pair of pregnant hookers seen dragging a drunken businessman toward a set of nearby elevators.

The thing is down south where I grew up most people, even those who can’t tie their shoes without a staff of helpers can cook a little. Even down in the macho land of cotton where men are men and cattle smile all the time_ people you wouldn’t trust to clip your toe nails can make a mean plate of ribs or a meatloaf that would melt in your mouth.
Every macho southern man can make at least one “man safe” macho meal, like barbecued steak, a pot of gumbo or three alarm chili and most southern women can do things with Rice a Roni that will spin your head like a Bessie Bug..
It is just part of the culture.

Anyway this character whose name I do not remember, smelled like beer, peanuts, hair oil and the bottle of Old Spice he had likely snagged from one of my grandfathers garbage trucks. In short he was colorful southern character from a bad B-movie.
“I seen aliens before.” .he said, “They are here.”

Just last week I saw a man on Las Vegas Boulevard give an intense lecture to a crowd of invisible fans about the inevitable landing of space aliens in preparation for an intergalactic barbecue. Who knew the aliens were southerners..

As, lets call him Billy Jo Ray Bob Jedidiah or Jed for short, he was explaining his recipe for cornbread and sugar cookies and the ways to survive alien encounters he also explained how he, after drinking a twelve pack had fallen asleep in his oldest brother’s dog house and how it wasn’t his fault.

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I have no idea but it was weird so here it is. Tropicana Avenue about a week ago – Photo by Royal Hopper

This week in the City of Sin a man fell asleep on a Sin City street corner in a dress, black leather boots and a rainbow garters. At least I think it was a man and I think he was only sleeping..

As another person who once again I did not know told his fortune with a pack of playing cards they had “purchased” at a nearby Gas and Go he smiled through the mile wide gap in his front teeth added that he didn’t believe in the Easter Bunny, that unleaded gasoline was a communist plot, Fluoride was a myth and family reunions were not the exiting singles scene they were made out to be . (okay maybe I made that last part up)

The point of this random memory from 40-years ago, when polyester was king and hair oil was still a fashion option, is that simply the reason so many of my fellow southerners are fat is that they can all cook a little and many are very good at it..

The reason my current home Las Vegas, the City of Sin is so full of players is that we can all act a little we can all pretend and sell the image of Sin City. It is just part of the culture

As to the reason why Flash Dance inspired living in the 80s drama queens get so bitchy when asking for a band aid ..you got me brother _ I just work here.

And you knew what the cornbread that weird dude cooked was actually really good. .

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