Knowing your limits in Las Vegas
by Royal Hopper
Security Officer to guest with dyed red hair looking around wildly at unseen enemies and talking to unseen friends…… “Are you all right Mam,”
Chick with red dye job: “They told me to come here and the Zombies are chasing me.”
Security Guard to intoxicated elderly guest. “Are you all right sir?”
Elderly Guest to security guard… “Mr. Budweiser is kicking my ass,”
There is no shame in knowing your limits. When the elderly gentleman mentioned above needed help getting to the bathroom he decided wisely enough was enough and asked for help getting to his room and promised not leave until he had slept “it off.”
Las Vegas is a town, excuse me a city, built on the idea that exceeding the limits placed on the individual by society, common sense and the logic of self preservation is a good, wonderful, fun thing to do.
Just for a weekend or a week you get to pretend you are a Wild Thing who just doesn’t give a crap says the myth of Sin City. Like the woman crossing Las Vegas Boulevard against the light in her halter top and daisy dukes. “Crosswalks we don’t need no stinking crosswalks..”
What many Sin City veterans have discovered through long observance of the Sin City myth is this _ there is no shame in knowing your limits and only going beyond them when necessity demands it.
Also in the spirit of the City of Sin mythology of something for nothing I have decided to hire a personal assistant with the following requirements.
Wanted Personal Assistant for Las Vegas writers and security guards
Intern for Course Credit
* Must be named Tiffany, Heather or Ashley..Tiffany preferred but Ashleys and Heathers with valid cheer leading credentials will be considered.
* Must have a working knowledge of Swedish massage and hair care products
* Must know how to order take out and make coffee
* Must not have awareness of the past 20 years beyond “the simple things”
* Interested Parties may leave a message on this site or contact Dr. Phil as soon as possible
The man who stumbled up to a Las Vegas street corner on the asphalt of a busy Sin City street bruised, battered and dirty. His chic, name brand outfit was covered in bits of something organic and spots of red and gray_ perhaps the remains of a binge that had long since gotten the better of him. After pausing for several pregnant seconds stumbling a quick two or three steps he stopped for a minute seeming to realize he had no idea where he was and how he had gotten there. He looked down to the full bottle of brown liquor shrugging his shoulders and seeming to realize he didnt know what it was then stepped onto the sidewalk set a full bottle of liquor on the curb and flagged down a passing cab. Fumbling in his torn pockets he eventually fished a room key, $20 and a small pink paper umbrella you might find in a tropical drink out of the pocket as it too gave up the ghost and tore away as he climbed unsteadily into the yellow taxi.
There is no shame in knowing your limits or in taking your medicine if you have issues. If you can’t handle your liquor or poison of choice beyond a certain point in stopping before you reach that point and there is no shame in seeing a good shrink or just calling it a night.
That’s life in the City of Sin
Rock on fellow Sinners
The zombies never showed