Organized Bummetry in the City of Sin
By Royal Hopper
It is a typical day on Las Vegas Boulevard and usual suspects, the crazies and drama queens, the hucksters, the hustlers and four headed fire breathing alien car salesman. chorus girls named Fred (okay I made that up) are out in force.
The City of Sin was full of cat lovers, dart throwers and professional bicycle riders this week. There is s joke in there somewhere. Like the cat owner that was reunited with her prize red feline (whose name is with held to protect innocent cats all around the world …..) after several tense hours of searching a local hotel. The cat had bolted from the protected environs of it’s owners room and had been corralled by a cat herder down the hall. One guest lost her Pussy Cat and another found it.
Anyway there was one group of ner-do-wells huddled on one Sin City Street corner seems go unnoticed by the throngs of tourists parading down the boulevard except for the lady in the cut off Mickey Mouse Pajamas munching on a donut in the middle of the day in the middle of a busy driveway and the six year old dressed like Madonna holding her father’s hand as he stared at a working girl on her way across the intersection.
These suspicious characters look around suspiciously checking the surrounding Sin City terrain for the watchful eyes of Las Vegas’ finest and the ever present security guards that populate the casinos of Sin City and reach into the folds of their torn dirty shirts for their weapons of choice crafted pieces of cardboard with code words written on them for all to see and take heed of.
Time and time again throughout the week you would see this team of professionals exchange words and a brief looks of confidence and teamwork and “I got you back man,” attitude that comes from working as a team and go off in different directions. They seem to heading to different street corners those weapons of choice in their hands….. And the donut they stole from the old lady in the Micky Mouse pajamas as they separated.
Is this group dangerous? Are they master criminals looking for a big score disguised as street people hmmm….are they a team of detectives working under cover in Sin City as residentially challenged corner sitters …. extras in the next Sin City movie drama maybe badly dressed smelly working girls with weapons of cardboard in their hands …No, no, no and no !!!!!
Obviously they have a plan. Obviously up to something. But they are not vampires or gangsters or bank robbers or undercover detectives. Words like poor and hungry need food and I kid you not to stupid to stell(steal) to ugly to be a hooker ….and I need beer money…are written across their cardboard weapons of choice.
More than likely they are simply one of the groups of Sin City panhandlers exercising the latest trend in charity seeking teamwork…like wearing your underwear on your head.
I call this new trend in begging organized Bummetry. Think about. The crowds of Sin City panhandlers are organizing into groups for more efficient ways of working the crowds of Sin City tourists that populate the boulevard.
They have a plan these charity professionals and crowds of these highly organized panhandling specialist were seen high fiving after a team huddle on a Las Vegas Boulevard street corner this week
You might have watched warily as you saw this group of suspicious men gathered around a Las Vegas street corner taking advantage of the rare muggy overcast day in the desert to conceal their nefarious activities. A lot of things probably ran through your mind as you watched this team break their huddle and head for opposite corners of Sin City Highway.
You need not fear these soldiers of the street are probably just after the odd bills you have in your pocket or the sandwich you are chewing on or half empty beer you threw in the trash.
The new trend seems to be catching on.
Working girls seem to be cashing in on this new trend …By all reports groups of these pleasure princesses can be seen standing …in groups inside Sin City casinos loudly advertising their wares and I mean loudly…\
“So babe you wanna strap one on.” one will say while a dozen more ladies of the evening egg her on and jeer at the target if they don’t want soecial attention
Can you say me love you long time….? I knew you could…..
Maybe we will see them at the Bummetry Workers Local picnic this fall.
Oh well such is life in the City of Sin
Take Care Sinners