Speaking to yourself in Riddles and rapping to Elvis in September
By Royal Hopper
Rain doesn’t stop the madness in the city of sin it just brings in indoors and makes the guy dressed as Big Bird wet.
It rained this week in the city of sin …I mean really rained wash your house away Dorothy watch out the cow is floating by rain.
“Mommy Mommy why is their falling from the sky. Did God leave his lawn sprinklers on…” seriously.
It is raining again
It rained okay. People freaked out for about an hour then realized they lived in the desert and in two days they would be complaining the dry air again, popped a Prozac and took a swig of Jack Daniels and it was okay man …okay …As I write this it is once again hot and clear and the talkers and the invisible friends they constantly complain to have returned in droves.
As the high season in Sin City winds down the traditional takers to invisible people are slowly giving way to a new trend in public talking to the invisible is slowly emerging. Some people, the more traditional kind of invisible talkers in this city simple talk to invisible friends. You hear them all the time talking away to people no one can see or hear.
“Leave me alone,” one was heard to say to an empty stretch of Sin City sidewalk and carpet…People generally did.
Dancing with yourself uuuhhhhuh
Sometimes the fans of the invisible dance with them apparently often uninvited. One Sin City denizen swore up and down he was slapped silly by the invisible woman he had tried to dance with.
“Why are you being such a bitch..I just want to dance,” or something to that effect he said to the air.
Sometimes invoke their names when asking passerby for directions to Elvis’s new home ( and no he isn’t pumping gas on Third Street he’s gone man) or when trying to decide how to make that next big bet.
“Fred man should I hold the queens or go for the inside straight?”
I have heard people have entire conversations with slot machines begging for the jackpot and found them hugging machines and calling them pet names.
“Come on baby give me the triple 7s just once.”
Still others blame these invisible friends for bets they made and date gone horribly…”why didn’t you tell me she was a hooker man…or your holding queens and you throw them away to try and draw a 4 of hearts…you idiot…why did I listen to you” one man said to a stretch of carpet and stone.
The people you see looking up at the skyline or talking to the ground about leveraging options on lemon futures are probably doing business on their blackberries. Unless of course they are sitting half naked on they side walk in which case they are probably just nuts or stoned or both.
With the sudden proliferation of hands free cell phones these days you can never tell who people are talking to when they suddenly start screaming at the air. But there is one new trend in Sin City screaming at the air quirkiness that is very down to earth.
A lot of people who talk to invisible friends on the Boulevard seem to be rapping or reciting unusual poetry very loudly to music no one else can hear.
One gentleman sighted on the North end of Las Vegas Boulevard was angrily expressing himself in rhyme to an invisible audience. He was well enough dressed to be sure and clearly not homeless and didn’t have the look of lost wonderment you expect from tourist. He was practicing his rap for what he hopes will one day be a real audience.
One day all the invisible friends people are constantly invoking in this city are going to appear on the streets of this city all at once right by the Elvi who hang out midst rip throughout the summer.
Hold on a minute …what’s that you say ???? Hey I gotta go my invisible friends are telling me it is going to rain again….
Such is life in the City of Sin
Take Care Fellow Sinners