The Comfort of Being Clueless
By Royal Hopper
Sometimes being clueless can be a comfort. This is especially true if you easy to notice and a bit strange.
You have to admire people who live so completely in their own world that reality seldom bursts the bubble of optimism and imagery they built around them.
There was a lady on Las Vegas Boulevard this week lets call her Sun Dress Daisy May for our purposes.
Daisy’s cart overflows with her collection by mid day. Stuffed into the metal cage cases, back packs and lunch boxes full cans and bottles lay beside her few meager possessions.
She stops and talks to someone with a backpack and eventually he gives her the backpack and the lunch box inside it and walks away.
When someone gives you their backpack and lunchbox just to get you away from them …it might pay to be clueless.
Two heavy green trash bags full of water bottles hang from the sides several more from the handlebars of the stainless steel mobile storage conveyance so common in the city.
There is other stuff a lot of it and the cart is heavy, 50 pounds of debris by the looks of it. Daisy has trouble maneuvering her down the twisted time worn sidewalks in the older part of town. It tilts points down hill and gets away from almost her.
Before she leaves Daisy talks to a few more people. She slurs here words when she talks. Its hard to tell if it’s a natural tick or Demon Jack has gotten the
better of her but the tick is impossible to hide…She wears what appears to be a cut off sun dress pink, orange and black print stuffed into a pair of Daisy Duke denim shorts an outfit out of fashion two decades ago when the clothes were like new. Her hair is dirty and her bright eyed her face shows the wear and tear of days spent stuffing a dirty Sun Dress into shorts she should have stopped wearing in 1992.
Even compassionate passersby have to stifle a giggle as she swings her hips trying to vamp male tourists into adding to her collection which they often do.
“Do you have a dollar?” She said as I approached.
“I’m broke darlin,” I said which was true at the time. I didn’t have dime in my pocket.
“Yeah me too…,” she said heaving and huffing as she wrestled her cart down the street swinging her hips like an Anjou and planting her feet when the incline of the sidewalk causes the 50 pounds of bottles and cans, and donations to obey gravity rather than their brightly dressed master.
Down the street from Daisy’s last foray more cat people cross the street.
I call them cat people because even the dumbest dog knows that when you are crossing the street it is stupid turn around when you are three quarters of the way across and run back to where you were and start over.
Apparently there are cats and people in this city who don’t get that.
A man with much more to lose than Daisy, lets call him clueless Cat Guy, committed that is an almost fatal flaw in this city. He bolted out into traffic to cross the street and when he was scant feet away from the relative safety of a pedestrian median he turned around looked both ways and bolted back toward the other side of the street.
Not only was he almost struck down by Sin City driver he looked really stupid doing it and looked even crazier than Daisy could manage .
He glanced at his new watch on one hand and his cell phone in the other and rolled his eyes at the drivers of the cars who almost hit him and let him know their displeasure at his catlike actions with the one finger salute. When the phone call that almost costs him his life was done he turned around and made ready to dart back across the Boulevard in the middle of traffic on a busy day.
If you spend your days say pushing your shopping cart down the street swinging your hips like a exotic dancer as you collect empty water bottles and beer cans it can pay to be clueless. Clueless is a clueless does …
Rock On Fellow Sinners
And look both ways before crossing the street at the cross walk.
Remember Clueless is as clueless does..
You cant look back…and you cant look back because its wrong or immoral..
You cant look back because its dangerous and because it doesn’t make sense