by Royal Hopper

Sometimes when you are making the long drive down a City of Sin byway toward your suburban home you see someone who you just know has nothing to lose and nothing to gain by pretending they do….

I saw such three such men laying on the ground  on the way home one day this week.  The first was laying alone in a dirty white shirt on the sidewalk for all to see, and clearly he could not care less who saw or what they thought.
He lay within three feet of his precious shopping cart the bottom of which I swore was coated with old Bee Gees CD‘s. I could almost see the white leisure suits on the CD label from the road as I drove by.
“It was as if he was saying ..man disco is gone..that’s it Im not moving. There is nothing more you can do to me…. I am staying right here on the sidewalk… Barry man why did you do it
Anybody got a leisure suit I can borrow….?”

Further down the road
Further down the road two men, brothers perhaps or perhaps just friends who squat on the same section of Sin City roadway lay beside each other baking in the afternoon sun. Inexplicably they ignored even the minimal shade of a nearby utility box and chose to half sit half lay in a boxed in corner created by an urban landscape crowded with concrete, asphalt and metal.
They looked for all the world like an ad for an imaginary sequel to Bill and Ted Excellent Vegas adventure. Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure was an 80s epic about two iconic stoners/rockers who repeatedly saved the world despite being  completely clueless and apparently without resources or education of any kind.
You could almost hear the conservation in your mind as you drove past these two….
“Dude ..you want to do something…”
“Dude it too hot. Lets stay here…..
“Dude lets get a burrito….”
“Later dude. I just want to lay here on the curb with our long live the 80s hairdos…”
“Dude…you want to do something…” No dude lets just lay here…
Dude …..

There were others like the clueless over groomed  dip thong, I want to be a corpse genius who ran across a busy Sin City Street staring at his I Phone Sunday paying no attention to cars whizzing by him must surely have had nothing to lose. As I have said before drivers in Las Vegas will run you over even when they see you and are sober enough to react in time and when they are stoned which they often are they will surely run you over and laugh about it on their way to the drunk tank.

I suggest to this gentleman that he visit the nearest recruitment center.
If you are going to risk your life crossing the street at least get the glory and a pay check for doing it because brother you almost met maker at least three times I saw while I was waiting for the light to change.
I hear the Marines and the Rangers are looking for men who don’t mind risking their lives crossing the street You should sign up.

Such lack of care is common in the summer time here. One woman who should have cared is the one seen walking down the boulevard hand in hand with her significant other. She had been burnt by the desert sun had turned bright lobster red and was turning redder by the moment like her mop of reddish hair. She was so bright red you could see this woman from 100 feet away you could almost see the oncologist standing close by fishing in his wallet for a business card.

On and On and On

Most days in the city of Sin are fairly normal. People do all the normal things in the normal way. They walk their dogs and wait at the bus stop in neon pink tutus. They run to the sports book before work to make bets because 930 is their  lucky number.
step over homeless guys, and drunken pediatricians on their way to tip Elvis impersonators lining the boulevard  for photos they hope no one in their Wayne Newton fan club will see them taking  and they have walking pose offs in the middle of Las Vegas Boulevard with random strangers next to the My Pretty Kitty Character who is mocking their every pose as they walk by.

It kind of like the suburbs here in Vegas. People are normal.  Really???? No not really. This is Las Vegas Dingbat. People arent normal here. People here are weird  even in Cleveland and here they are proud of it but when no one is looking they do all the normal things. They do ride the bus. They dream about the glories of the past . They drink to much. They complain about work and silently clutch the voodoo dolls hidden in their pockets as they bet the rent money on a hard eight with stack of purple on the table and a girl named Sugar they barely know reaching in their pocket as they roll the dice….

Not to long ago I once told a Sin City denizen to grow up and get a life…..”No,” they quipped without sign of anger or attempt at satire. There was no retort or rationalization or explanation they just said one word and stalked back into their Sin City Zone of reality.

That’s life in the City of Sin

Rock on Sinners
Rock On