Is B.O.N.E a good name for Sin City
By Royal Hopper
This week we will talk about money back deals on naked dancers, the sanity of March Madness, giant killer trucks and address the burning questions of the year. Should we change the name of Las Vegas and does mayonnaise really belong on hot dogs.
In some parts of the City of Sin there were very ordinary things going on. For instance at one end of town the one I live in there was a giant metal monster that shot fire from its mouth as it tore apart a old Buick. At this same location huge mechanical vehicles ran over random valuable objects and smashed the objects.
There were sanity defying leaps by bicycle riders over piles of twisted metal. There were hordes of leather loving boot wearing ( I can say that since I grew up in such a place) rabid fanatics screaming approval at the destructive scenery in front of them and of course there were curly fries.
The Monster Jam, a Monster Truck rally visited Las Vegas’ own Sam Boyd Silver Bowl this week as the rest ofSin City continued drinking, gambling eating and posing for cheese cake pictures with life size cartoon chracters and women named Lolita wearing feathers on their head.
Now to business. For the last time. There is no refund for the services of strippers, massage artists named Candy or how shall we put it ….women of leisure…naked princesses you know (censored)
Believe it or not prostitution is illegal in the City of Sin and in Clark County Nevada wherein the city lies aaannndddd ….Believe it or not some of the women who are seen of flyers advertised as naked dancers don’t do anything but dance….
One gentleman who was from the country that gave us wine snobs, five vowels in a two syllable name, good pastries, bad cars and croissants insisted the hotel security get him his money back from a woman who came to his room and took $400 of his money, took her clothes off and then refused to do anything else.
Dancing naked, as advertised on the flyer he had picked up, was all she did it seems. She gave him back some of his money but would not give him back the rest. A Girl has to make a living apparently and stripping in private has a price.
The gentleman insisted hotel employees call the police for him despite being told several times the police would arrest him …for soliciting a prostitute and he would still not get his money back. Prostitution is illegal in Clark County, Nevada. It is legal in every other part of the state but not here in the City of Sin…go figure.
This City is full of operators, magicians, performers, and hustlers who make a living letting you think what you want to think and then making off with your money while you scream about how this never happens in your country. Sometimes people win and sometimes they win a lot and sometimes they don’t. It is the nature of the City.
I will say one thing about March madness. In Vegas it is practical in a depressing kind of way. One man was overheard cursing the University of Indiana for their performance in a recent game. He had taken the Hoosiers and the 20 and one half points they were favored by and was upset when they won by only 20 points..sheesh ..were they even trying…..
Those bastards made me bet $7,500 and only won by 20 points the man seemed to say.
Fun City ??????
There are some people who think the City of Sin should be renamed something more fun.
It should be called something like Bugsy’s Ostentatious Neon Emporium and Magical Escapade land. Or B.O.N.E M.E. Land for short.
There has been some suggestions that we call this city in the desert the City of Sun until someone pointed out there is already a place called Sun City Summerlin and that sounds to much like the City of Sun.
It gets very hot in the desert …because you know it’s the desert so Sun City could work.
My favorite is Fun City or the City of Fun. It has a ring to it. Of course it sounds more like an amusement park in Nebraska than a city devoted to gambling, drinking and other non Sunday school activities. But it does have a ring to it ….
BTW This may brand me as a Sinner in my native Texas but I have discovered that mayo isn’t so bad on hotdogs. Apparently its something they do in New York, New York and apparently in Vegas you know what it aint bad.
Does someone running down the street stoned with a Gatorade in his hand count as a jogger ????