It’s Christmas time in the City of Sin
By Royal Hopper
Christmas in the City of Sin is like the United Nations. Diverse, loud and often drunk. Everyone doesn’t celebrate Christmas and everyone who doesn’t celebrate it flocks to Sin City this time of year shouting things at people in languages they don’t understand.
They also don’t understand a lot of things about Vegas like the fact that six-year-olds are not allowed to sit in their laps and shovel quarters into a slot machine or slam shots of Jim Beam while their parents reach for the rear ends of cocktail waitresses and shout how much at the women who are going to steal your wallet in ten minutes.
It’s against the law here.
These world visitors tend to drink a lot and take many, many controlled substances that simply don’t seem to be in keeping with the Christmas spirit.
One lady from the far away land of Korea was spotted laying on the carpet in a popular Vegas casino dressed in a bright red evening dress her black satin underclothing visible to anyone who dared to look and lots of people did.
She said she was waiting for a bus but eventually gave up and wet to lay down in the hallway in front of a room not registered to her, only to discover her tour group was waiting for her near the spot she had been laying on the floor and hour before.
On the other hand many locals in the City of Sin greater Metropolitan area spent the week deep in preparation for the holiday season.
I mean what says Christmas more than putting a red nose and a phony pair of reindeer antlers on your pick up truck as you are on your way to the two for one Budweiser beer special at Wal-Mart.
Except maybe putting a wreath on the front of your 18-wheeler as you are guzzling 5-hour energy drinks and hurtling down the Interstate past frightened car loads of afternoon commuters.
…and _ who knew Santa was a salesman. Rumors has it that the red suited Christmas Claus was sighted near a half off sale on Flamingo Road Christmas Eve waving at passersby.
A young woman spotted walking down a Sin City street was definitely a Christmas fan if he red hair, red clothes, bright red lipstick.
One City of Sin casino denizen looked a little bit like Santa Claus. If Santa Claus had started drinking years ago and was skinny with a thousand yard stare that would scare the heck out of Jack Frost or the average Christmas Eve reveler as the tugged their matching Santa hats over their faces in an effort to avoid his wide eyed stare.
Still there were bright spots in the holiday Sin City Scene. Homer Simpson and Bumblebee the Transformer were spotted hanging out at a local casino posing for holiday pics.
MC Hammer and Tone Loc are preparing to bring back that 80s rap to the Holiday season and a sea of Santa Hat wearing tourists floated down Las Vegas Boulevard past collectors for local charities who were having a banner year from all accounts.
Such is life in the City of Sin
Rock On Fellow Sinners
And Merry Christmas, Glorious Yule and Happy Freaking Holidays