Do you polish your Balls

Real Conversation ??
Question: So do you polish your balls????
Answer: “We polish our balls ever day ….
Where did this conversation take place??? A Las Vegas Bingo Hall…..”
Apparently professional Bingo halls do polish the plastic balls they use to generate random numbers to avoid having them get stuck in the Bingo ball machine  and to increase the randomness of the numbers the balls generate.

So do you polish your balls????

Children learn what they see and hear not what you teach them

file photo of a Vegas “newstand” advertising private dancers_ Photo by Royal

Sin City shows it respect or lack of it for signs of any kind – Photo by Royal

The reason children should not come to Las Vegas casinos is not as obvious as you may think. It’s not about dangerous men named after body parts. Like Jimmy the Nose or Freddy the Elbow or slouching weirdos looking for the right moment.

Casinos are full of security guards and employees who have children, and except for the occasional tragedy like the one that occurred in another casino town a few years ago, their physical safety is not in question and it is against the law to allow them to gamble or even hang out where people gamble.

 However, boys as they say will boys and girls will be girls and especially if their mother isn’t watching. Perhaps that’s why three young boys seen hanging put in front of one casino spent half an hour raiding the “Las Vegas news stand,” where the papers advertising all the private dancers ??? are stored.

Now the papers are free and the stands are never locked so they weren’t actually stealing anything. The stealth and careful planning that went into purloining the naked lady ads was pointless in fact because the few people who noticed these young boys sneaking back and forth to the news stand didn’t really care. ( Thats wonderful Sin City Apathy again)   

 I can’t imagine these boys mother would be to happy with the gold mine of dirty pictures they stuffed in their T-shirts and heaven forbid one of them figures out how to call one of the women in the ads for a round of private dancing and raided Moms purse for credit cards to make it happen but that is not the real danger either.

As it happens the next morning stacks of private dancer cards were found in the bathroom of that particular property and a small stack of magazines advertising their services was found in the arcade on that property just feet from where a white haired video game fan pumped quarters into a video game about giant man eating caterpillars and the spaceships that hunt them which brings me to my point. (yes there is one)

You might remember a man named Pavlov and his dog. Pavlov’s dog was conditioned to drool whenever a bell rang and perhaps one day years from now conditioned by the sights and sounds of the world these young men will be the ones who wake up after a long night of imagined lust and a glass of fizzy grape juice spiked with knockout drops sans wallet, pride and memory a flier advertising D-Cup private dancer Bambi Jones laying on the nightstand.  “Just go to sleep for a few minutes,” Bambi might say.

 After all,  children learn what they see and hear not what you teach them. Perhaps these young men  will be luckier and even if conditioned by years of video and advertising that this is what real women look like will take private dancer Bambi home with them to meet their mother who will suddenly remember the time her little angels stole her credit cards to bring private dancer Bambi to their hidden fortress of solitude located in the families rented condo.  To further illustrate this point consider this comparison of two places….Cosco and a random dark and smokey casino. Not so different as you think. Consider this.    

 Which what is which ???

Lets engage in a little game where we describe two places and see if you can guess which place it is a Sin City casino or a Cosco food court.

First there is place A

 In one corner of place A you see a person, an older male person a father or uncle or family friend, devouring a piece of pizza like a giant starving chipmunk just awakened from his long winter’s nap gnawing on the first acorn he has eaten in months. Then look across the table from him and see a young man of about three years doing exactly the same thing. In another corner you see an older woman telling her problems to a younger relative occasionally stopping overcome by emotion and drowning her emotions in a giant sized two for one drink while the other pretends to listen all the while obsessing over the attractive member of the opposite sex and steals bites of the older woman’s dinner as she vents.

People of all shapes sizes and colors, weird clothes, crowded into a large building crowded with electronic entertainment devices, and exotic wares of all kinds someplace you have to show an ID (that’s ID not Id) to get into to. There people who constantly play with the electronic entertainment devices despite having no money to spend on them and who sometimes get so involved in the games they forget where they are.                 

 One place has no clocks and a legion of employees willing to please for good tip and a and bases its profits on conspicuous consumption of the modern citizen. Which place is which. I can’t tell can you.

Of course there is a difference people actually need food and electronics and the conveniences of modern life and they don’t need free whiskey sours and easy odds on single deck black jack but the mentality is the same.

See hear it smell and associated with fun and well being even if common sense tells you otherwise. Who knows what the British soldiers who ventured out of their hotel rooms complete naked and commandeered several motorized wheel chairs and raced them down the hallway in the wee hours of the morning were thinking?

Who knows what the person  who ran over the no parking sign at one local casinos loading docks several times was thinking or the bridge teams who flocked to Vegas to scarf overpriced hotdogs and participate in scotch tasting suppers. ( I don’t know)Who knows but in the end I’d be willing to bet it was based on what someone heard and saw repeatedly as a child sometime back in the day.

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