Happy New Year such as it is.
In the week leading up to New Years I saw a cornucopia of Las Vegas cliché’s. A few days ago I saw that utmost of Sin City clichés the Elvis imitator passing through my casino clad head to toe like the king of Rock N Roll.
I also spotted a strangely dressed person talking to themselves. Maybe it was their inner child speaking to them maybe an imaginary friend but they were talking up a storm and there was no cell phone I could see.
As I watched a married couple from somewhere in Europe argue intently in a foreign language I made what I consider an important discovery. The sound of someone nagging their significant other sounds the same in French as it does in English even if you don’t speak the language. I watched a young woman nag her significant other in French scant feet away from where I sat. Even though I didn’t understamd a word pf what they said the look of guy to guy sympathy I gave him is a universal sign that flew across the language and culture barrier with the speed of light as did the annoyed look his wife gave us both.
This week their were annoying people; Idiots who tell the security guards they look like Barney Fife (well okay maybe we do a little) while they are sitting down to spend their rent money ..Okay I’ll see your operation and Ill raise you my son’s graduation fund..etc etc …”
An unknown Elvis fan stops to pose for pictures on his way out of a Las Vegas casino a few days before New Year’s Eve…Photo R.M. Hopper
New years Eve in Las Vegas is the one day of the year all the people who visit the city and who seem normal,. get a chance to let go and be drunker, stupider version of the people they usually are. Numerous women who wear no underwear fall down laughing and numerous men who by that time are to drunk to really notice or remember fall down too.
2011 ..a satirical year in review>>>
We had the pool playing drill team. By that I mean a large group of middle aged pool players marching in step with a bag of 40 ounce malt liquor cans in one hand and an open can in the other on the way to finish the summertime pool tourney at a local casino.
We had the Roller Girls, with multicolored hair and late night topless pool parties. We learned that drunk people have their own language called Drunkese and can often converse with each other in ways sober people cannot understand; and we also learned casino guests often go to church after gambling their pocket money and usually abandon any hint of fashion sense when they come here.
Irish soccer fans made their annual pilgrimage to Sin City and retro hair styles made a brief painful come back in Las Vegas as I had to tell several young people that I had had a similar hairdo in 1977 about the time I got my fist pair of bell bottoms. And realized that outside of a few Italians, Straight White Men Can’t Dance.
As I said in a particular weekly blog, when even the fat middle aged red neck can tell your outfit is a disaster maybe you should rethink it.
I have seen at various times a 6 foot 4 inch Snow White, four or five Elvi of widely differing sizes ages and disposition, a Captain jack Pirate, Bret Michaels ( for those of you who don’t know who that is search your rehab luggage for the old Poison flyers) Weasel , a Punk Rock Granny dressed head to toe in 1976 blue dyed Mohawk glory , Big Bird, numerous faux football players, a witch, a ninja, a living statue and so many Anime characters I actually felt out of place with my non dyed hair. For the record, as someone who once owned six or seven of them leisure suits and tie dye T-shirts are not back in fashion and Disco will never return
2011 ended with neither a whimper nor a bang but a loud obnoxious burp as thousands of revelers flocked to the city of Sin to get privately drunk and pass out in convenient places where they wouldn’t be in the way. One gentleman never made it to the front doors and was found passed out on the front steps of the hotel he was staying at.
In closing I would like to simply say Goodbye to 2011 from the City of Sin you were a weird miserable year and I’m glad your gone.
Til Next Week
From the City of Sin
Salut and Take Care
Favorite question of the week. May I ask where the restroom is?
Favorite answer. Yes you may…
Also a silly question: Can you tell me where the restroom is ???
Also an answer …Of course I can. I speak English”””sort of Im from Texas its not quite the same thing
T-shirts…spotted. All will suffer, I’m a Bastard, Sweetie and Guns and Posses…