Las Vegas as an AM radio show or how hit on a hooker Herman Caian Style ….not really

 Things to say to bosses and on AM radioPhoto list of phrases you say to bosses and the onees you want to say gleaned from AM radio. Photo Metrou member RM Hopper                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       Greetings from this Weeks City of Sin MissiveThe other day I did something, something very difficult, something I don’t do very often.                           I listened to AM radio. It was one of the rare moments when boredom overcame intelligence and taste and as I slowly and painfully turned the dial on the ancient gray plastic 1989 deluxe model entertainment system looking for something to listen to that was not super weird or super lame, it hit me.
Well actually it was a blind house fly that hit me in the fore heard and scared the shit out of me. Then I had an epiphany. Las Vegas is full of such weirdness precisely because of the human race is screwed up and eventually, one way or another, they all come here.
My first stop on the AM crazy train was a certain pastor Bob explaining the ins and outs of demonic possession in great detail, to a moderator who seemed to be genuinely interested in how not to be possessed by Demons. Maybe he works at Sachs Goldman who knows.
Demons it seems enter the human mind in moments of weakness brought about by dabbling in the occult. I guess that marathon of Buffy the Vampire Slayer episodes is out of the question,,,(,iigggghhhhh walk in the shadow I am Bragu the foot smeller) Ooops sorry about that I must have gotten possessed for a minute.
Possessed sort of like the idiots who were racing down a city sidewalk the other day in motorized scooters many genuinely handicapped people use as wheelchairs, weaving in and out of danger and running into light poles and pedestrians before standing up and walking in a nearby casino to turn their rented wheelchairs in.
The next stop on the AM dial was dedicated to amazing bits of important news such as the important revelation that illegal aliens are starting forest fires to send smoke and fire signals each other. They probably looked like the costumed gentleman dressed in the old fashioned striped prison guard with I survived Bohemian on his back and sign in his hand saying Politics sucks or something to that effect.
Still another channel put forth that occupy Wall Street protestors should be grateful to corporate bosses for drilling the oil that runs their IPODS…??????
This reminded me of the 60 year old man I saw in a casino hitting on a woman of questionable moral virtue ( okay she was a hooker a good looking one to) This idiot was dressed like a 17-year-old and was smiling like horny teenager as he tried to impress a 22-year-old working girl who was playing the slot machines. He was wearing a small barely visible religious icon around his neck and chatting up this young woman with obvious plans in mind.
From the way she ignored him I can only guess she was either on her day off or was worried about the security guards shadowing her from a few rows down .Speaking of Occupy movement I saw my first glimpse of Occupy Las Vegas this week a brave move not because Vegas is more dangerous than Oakland or New York, but because it shard to get people in this city to pay attention to you. Most likely they would think you were posing for pictures. On the way to work I saw a protestor with a sign that read honk if your tired of corporate greed. At first I thought it read. Honk if your tired and I tried to honk because I was tired bit couldn’t because I was to tired.
I don’t surf AM radio often because you know its AM radio where the Bill ‘O Reilly’s of the world hangs out and its kind of stupid but perhaps I will have to start. Perhaps listening to AM will help me get a jump on the craziness that I will face in my daily treks into the City of Sin.
These AM crazies come from all over the country on the AM dial to get drunk on the city’s streets, dress like cartoon characters, flirt with hookers a third of their age, drive while intoxicated in motorized wheelchairs, pass out in hallways, carry signs and blast 20-year-old rock anthems on their stereos to drown all that chaos of this city out.
Oh well…Til Next WeekGoodbye from the City of SinAnd Take Care

Things to say to a boss on AM radio







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