Vegas Baby _ Royal Hopper

Vegas Baby _ Royal Hopper

The Nerd Table

By Royal Hopper
As the ancient dance tunes filtered through the thick neon enhanced air inspiring images of leisure suits, mood rings, bell bottoms and pet rocks and side burns the size of ham hocks suddenly I felt thinner, and hipper.a trump

There was a party last week celebrating the 60th anniversary of the Riviera Hotel and mourning its imminent June demise. As the band called The Edge played an assortment of disco and Latin dance favorites I imagined myself a young Rocker long hair blowing in the rebellious breeze of the late 70s sneering at the so called dance music playing on the stereo nearby.

I imagined I was cool much like the man covered with gold chains and a faux silk button down fond of quoting pick up lines obsolete in 1995 who sat at the casino bar until the woman he was hitting on had enough and slugged him. I imagined was cool man and in those halycon days of disco lights, Rat Pack tribute bands and big hair so was the Riviera.

I could almost feel the OP t-shirt clinging to my tanned skin, black denim and leather encasing my rebellious body _ my hair felt thicker and longer. I was skinny again, good looking with a shaggy mane of auburn hair and the world was innocent and full of solar powered promise and I could imagine my casino, the last of its ancient breed still thriving and intact. A coworker said something important and I nodded pretending I understood what she said.

Then as I wandered around the room looking at all the people a few of them older but most still a gleam in their parents eye when I was trying on my first Angel Flights blazer and reveling in the rebelliousness of my Alice Cooper Flush the Fashion concert T shirt. Suddenly three things hit me like a ton of bricks.. .Three things were reaffirmed.

On the Road in Vegas _ Royal Hopper

On the Road in Vegas _ Royal Hopper

No. 1 Disco is still not real music, No 2 the grand old lady of Las Vegas was still doomed and most importantly I remembered I was still a nerd. Even with long shaggy hair and cool clothes I had been a Rock and Roll nerd.

After pretending for several minutes to have once been cool had found my way to the nerd section of the dance and was quietly waiting for the gift giveaway so I could go home and watch reruns on my television.

The truth is I was never one of the cool kids.. . . But I had really nice hair.. I was such a nerd my parents drove me to my first rock concert and left me there without a worry.

A party in the Penthouse party spot in a Las Vegas celebrating the 60th birthday of a Vegas casino and morning its impending demise seems like a good time to let go to forget what things have been and look forward to the future _ but as we get older we tend to revert to type. Maybe it is time to move on and just admit ..Im a nerd who once had cool hair and still likes good music .

Sunrise in the desert _ Royal Hopper

Sunrise in the desert _ Royal Hopper

In Sin City Neon is as normal as sidewalks and ice cream in other places- Royal

In Sin City Neon is as normal as sidewalks and ice cream in other places- Royal

You cant argue with a confident man,” goes a saying so old it was in a movie some 30 years ago. Vegas is about a lot of things but mostly math and attitude. If you can count cards and calculate odds you know math.
If look and act like you are a bad ass or crazy or someone who knows someone or someone down on their luck worthy of sympathy often, not always, but often people will assume you are and that can be a gift. That is the Vegas attitude ..that is Sin City confidence.

The Confident Man

By Royal Hopper

A man stands in the median of a busy Las Vegas road beside his shopping cart smiling and waving at motorists as they eye him warily. He is surprisingly clean cut for a “Sign Holding Shopping Cart Person,” and bares a short well maintained military style haircut.

Just because it looks cool and the shot came out right - Royal

Just because it looks cool and the shot came out right – Royal

The sign he carries has one word written on it in neat stylized script .“Smile,” reads the sign and he does smile as he runs into the street darting between cars as the vehicles in that lane stop for a traffic light. Despite almost being hit several times the man continued to dart into traffic and was rewarded at least once with something I could not see from the opposite lane. This is a confident man.

Later that same week

A woman sheds a tear as she explains to the security guard how she is trying to get money anyway she can.
“No not that way,” she said waving her hand in desperate dismissal assuring the guard she is not a “working girl” despite her predicament. She just needs money for her kids and needs to get home so she can be there when they wake up not even batting an eye when she adds “because” I owe it to them. She tried to make money by selling things but the person she had given the items to sell had ripped her off and .and and . . . .
That is a confidence woman.. . . . Maybe it was all true .but most likely it was a scam and you gotta be confident to run a panhandling scam on casino property with the property order keepers staring right at you .. . . confident woman. . . .

Singing in the rain - Royal

Singing in the rain – Royal


Late night in a casino a man stands on two metal disks attached to his legs just below the knee. Without his lower legs he is barely five feet tall but still a confident man very much in place in a city built around the aura of the confident man. He Mack’s on the woman standing next to him and pulls on the lever of the one armed bandit with a gusto his better equipped fellow gamblers don’t even try to match. He is barely five feet tall in with his shortened legs but he acts larger than life.

Confidence even contrived confidence is better than desperation it seems and better camouflage for the Sinners make their way through the campy, dangerous over the top 24 hour urban theater that is the City of Sin..

Take Care Fellow Sinners

Crossing the street _ Royal

Crossing the street _ Royal

waiting at corner High Roller jet and tree

Rock onDSCF7271

A father and son trip to the movies Redbox style- Photo by Royal Hopper

A father and son trip to the movies Redbox style- Photo by Royal Hopper

The City of Sin: Take it like it is or go to Idaho

By Royal Hopper 

The City of Sin has always been a place where legends say you can be yourself .however weird or out of the mainstream you are ..
“I am who I am deal with it,” the very ambiance of the place seems to say.

Cityscape in the morning - Royal Hopper

Cityscape in the morning – Royal Hopper

A man sits on a bench at a bus stop in the City of Sin. His Sienna colored tropical leisure suit fitting tightly around the equally Sienna colored vest the Italian style halter stop tshirt peering out from his leather like sun tanned skin. In contrast to his darkly tanned skin around his head sit’s a glow in the dark white IPOD of some kind. His head rocks back and forth to the music it plays. He is oblivious to the stares he is drawing as he drifts away on his version of Rock n Roll. An archetype Sinner he is who he is and just doesn’t care what others fell about who he is.

A group of drinking buddies stumble through a casino each wearing a different decade of decadence .. . . The 80s Goth Punker striding side by side with the Chic Hippie look, grunge boy looking confused as his friends push the mid 70s hip length leather coat bushy mustache and print rayon button up dude. Okay maybe I had a closet full of 70s shirts but I never had the cheesy mustache .. . . Mine was cool.

a Biker - Royal Hopper

a Biker – Royal Hopper

Ahole report:
Ahole season is just around the corner and the aholes are polishing up their condescending attitudes .. .practicing not tipping and displaying the labels on their $80 T shorts as they push their way to the front of the line for the free give aways and 2 for 1 buffet specials.

Jogger Report .. . . . It is this time of year when the sun begins to shine the day long in the desert that most species of Sinners begins to make their first appearance. This week the pale people of winter started appearing on Las Vegas Boulevard perhaps realizing that they look really bad in shorts with that layer of winter fat caressing their silicon skin they try for all the world to pretend jogging is something they do all the time.

Try one - by Royal Hopper

Try one – by Royal Hopper

Drama Queen: It is a fact that you have to do a lot to get attention in the City of Sin. We have seen it all and most of the time just don’t give a rats gluts why you are dressed like alien Elvis from the third Elvis eats LA on rye with mayonnaise movie.
That in the City of Sin baby

Take Care Fellow Sinners

A very nice Sin City cityscape - Royal Hopper

A very nice Sin City cityscape – Royal Hopper

Bike guys meet at the corner - Royal Hopper

Bike guys meet at the corner – Royal Hopper


Ferris Wheel - Royal Hopper

Ferris Wheel – Royal Hopper

Question of the Day ?? What do you call a man who sits down at a slot machine that has been disabled for hours and tries to claim he hit a jackpot and had not been paid. Many called this man a DWEEB but the definition of DWEEB is often debated on theses pages and never completed defined.


Dweebs, Dogs and Dudes in the City of Sin


by Royal Hopper
Define Dweeb,

Morning in Sin City - Royal Hopper

Morning in Sin City – Royal Hopper

Drunk Winos Entertaining Entropic Bottoms??????
Dangerous Windows Exit Ending baseball ????

There is something about the City of Sin that makes the hidden issues people bring with them jump into full alcohol enhanced view.

For whatever reason if you have a weakness for gambling it shows in the City of Sin. If you like to drink now and then landing in the City of Sin suddenly turns you into a sloppy annoying should not be allowed to breed or be out after 10 p.m. drunk.

Its kind of like what one casino patron said when she realized another casino patron was using bad pick up lines on her dog..

Neon in Sin City _ Royal Hopper

Neon in Sin City _ Royal Hopper

“ I think that guy just asked my dog to see his bottle cap collection,” she said sounding both confused and a little jealous. The woman one of the thousands of dog owners in the City of Sin for the annual City of Sin Dog Show. You may snicker now and make with the bad jokes.

The man asking a woman’s dog out after a few drinks is definitely a dweeb as is the dog owners who replied that his dog was too sensitive to poop where other dogs poop when he was told his dog could not do his business where people walked and sometimes slept.

A Dweeb

Also in the City of Sin it is an established fact that having an argument with an invisible person is not a good way to introduce yourself to a casino crowd on a busy Saturday night. Asking same invisible friend advice on what to say is not a great way of picking up women.

Urban canvas - Royal Hopper

Urban canvas – Royal Hopper

Lastly there is no doubt that everybody loves their dogs but how much snap does it take to understand that setting them at a slot machine and demanding a drink for both of you not a cool thing ?????

Ahhh well. That is lifer in the City of Sin

Take Care Sinners
I love you all




cityscape _ Royal Hopper

cityscape _ Royal Hopper


sunrise cityscape - Royal

sunrise cityscape – Royal

The Perfect Friend in the City of Sin


By Royal Hopper 


A woman smiles and turns toward her companion, smiles and pat her on the back as she shovels another dollar bill into the one armed bandit she has been sitting in front of for some time.

The companion returns the smile after a fashion the comedic smirk frozen on its face as the woman shovels another bill into the machine and pats her brightly colored friend on the head and smiles at people who are beginning to star at them.

The perfect photo for Modern Vegas - Royal

The perfect photo for Modern Vegas – Royal

Her friend is thin and two dimensional. In fact it is as thin as cardboard. It is a cardboard cut out sitting beside the woman who is shoveling bills into the slot machine in front of her, the words gymnast is written across the crayon colored cardboard. I guess the one sure way to make sure your companion doesn’t talk back to you or interrupt you when you are gambling is to make sure they don’t talk or cant talk. Maybe she just wanted to reassure those looking on that she had quality friends and writing gymnast across the cardboard gambler made sure of that.

Still the woman with the crayon colored companion was essentially gentle unlike the man and I use the word regretfully who punched his newly minted wife in the face under the glare of the 100 or so video cameras that populate most casinos in the modern Vegas world. The cops were called of course as is the law in these situations and the man went to jail for a 12 hour vacation as he should have.

its another tequila sunrise _ Royal Hopper

its another tequila sunrise _ Royal Hopper

The woman later claimed that she didn’t remember being hit in the face and asked if the whole thing could just be forgotten.

“I never should have gotten married,” she said. Later she was picked up and carried to her room so intoxicated she could not remember what city she was in and had been laying on top of another intoxicated individual at a bar in the middle of a casino in full view of every one and the world.

There is something about the approach of summer in the City of Sin and consuming large amounts of alcohol that makes people believe they are younger, smarter, prettier and much more interesting than they are. Maybe it’s the sea of neon the hordes of scantily clad women men and otherwise ..maybe it is the reputation or the hype of Sin City but something in the air here makes people believe they are somehow important and can do whatever they please and that in a city full of video surveillance no one will notice.

When is this light going to change _ Rpyal Hopper

When is this light going to change _ Rpyal Hopper

I imagine that is exactly what the man sitting by a slot machine next to his much older mother was informed that since he was not 21-years of age he would have to leave the casino. His answer .. . . . . “but I am with my mother.”

I think I will try that cardboard thing. If I place a cardboard cut out near me when I am gambling and write Bikini model across it in crayon you think people will buy it.
That’s life in the City of Sin
Take Care Sinners


sports book casinohard rock landscape

Royal Hopper

Royal Hopper

Monday Morning in the City of Sin


By Royal Hopper  

“Do you know where I am?” the man in the red ball cap asked the casino security guards as he stumbled through the gaining Sin City icon of unapologetic decadence.

sunrise on the striptrop sign shota tropicana street shot nice sunsetLinq and Harrahs shoturban landscape good 4urban landscape 3

The man, who was clad in a odd assemblage of free give away shirts hats and jackets and brightly colored wear at beach Capri style pants sold in most Sin City gift shops looked confused when the casinos designated order keepers answered with a question.

“What room are you looking for sir?” the guard answered with a practiced politeness born of years of experience in the industry and an old school southern upbringing.

“What?” the man answered repeating the guards tactic of answering a question with a question. “Well, the guard answered stalling for a moment to come up with a polite answer to the question/answer. “We have several towers and you are in the middle of casino right now. If you tell me your room I can get you to the right one,” he answered smiling politely. It had been a long night, a long shift in the Sin City order keepers job full of drunken trouble makers and down home politeness was all he could manage.

“What?” was all the man could manage again looking around obviously completely unsure of where he was. After several rounds of answering questions with questions the man eventually gained enough composure to relate that the last thing he remembered was being in his car on the Interstate outside of Needles, California until he woke up half an hour ago in this strange confusing place full of slot machine black jack tables free alcohol and hookers named Dakota Skylark. a guy on scooter

About that time the man’s friend walked up rolling his eyes at the man and reassuring the guard he would make sure his friend got back to his room got some rest and took his medicine before heading out to spend his vacation money on dollar black jack and a long held bucket list goal of buying a souvenir from every gift shop on the Las Vegas strip. It was Monday Morning.

Later as many of us Sinners (Las Vegans) were driving home we noticed police cars blocking off several lanes along the half block corridor in front of one Sin City apartment complex on Tropicana Avenue.. A car had veered off the road going fast enough to completely take out several yards of the cinder block fence blocking the complex off from the road a pieces of the cinder block barrier for many more dozens of yards.
A passing motorists unable to take his eyes off the wreck while stopped in traffic looked at the police officer writing the paperwork on scene and shrugged his shoulder in askance. The officer who looked to be a veteran of many years working a beat in the City of Sin shrugged his shoulders in return and looked at the wreck in professionally frustrated manner and then shrugged slightly again. It was late Monday morning.

Royal Hopper

Royal Hopper

Still later in the day a man is seen dozing on a sidewalk bench his mouth open his still open eyes rolled back in his head as passersby gather around the man likely trying to decide whether they should call the police or Paramedics. The man shook his head stood up and checked his watch tossing a beer bottle and an empty paper coffee cup in the trash and took off his windbreaker. Underneath it was a uniform. He was apparently late for work.
There is something about your first day of the work week that is familiar to everyone. There are some things about Mondays in Sin City that are just like everywhere else and in some ways.
In many ways Monday mornings like most of life in the City of Sin is much different than in any other place in the country.

Take Care Fellow Sinners

Rock On alysssas cookies tenatove ad

Elvis Slept here ..He did I swear ...Royal Hopper

Elvis Slept here ..He did I swear …Royal Hopper

The Were Idiot stalks the City of Sin

By Royal Hopper

In one part of the City of Sin a woman bites down with all her might on the plastic shrubbery in one of that casinos fancier artificial landscapes.  She tells the people who come to stop her that the forces of Mordor are right behind her.

In another section of the City of Sin a man with a dish towel wrapped around his head sits down calmly at a slot machines and begins mumbling “magic words” at it as he calmly tries to force it accept the Walgreens coupons he holds as cash and then points at his watch and screams more magic words at the machine as it for some reason remains silent and judgmental.

A famous Sin City cowboy - Royal Hopper

A famous Sin City cowboy – Royal Hopper

Finally on a Sin City backstreet a man in costume accosts a man twice his size steals the mans paper bag and runs out into traffic having just committed a felony and nearly been killed for what looks like a half eaten hamburger. The bad ass he stole the burger from more confused and amused than angry walks away shaking his head.

All across the casino world a new kind of creature is roaming the byways and hallways of the City of Sin under the bright glare of the full moon.
Ordinary men and women by the light of day these creatures of the night are transformed by the pale reflected light on the moon into a devilish form of not dead beings of pure .evil..alcohol, insanity and polyester.

Sleeping in the chair _ Royal Hopper

Sleeping in the chair _ Royal Hopper

The season of the Were idiot has arrived in full force.
The Were Idiot is making its mark in Sin City..That’s right I said Were idiots .You know about werewolves and we have talked about were cats. The were idiot is the real threat to Las Vegas and they cant be kept at bay with silver or garlic and they don’t glow in the dark.

There is something in the City of Sin _ in the water maybe _ that makes normally functional people act like complete dingbats with the rise of moon and the falling of night or in the day or in between for that matter.

by Royal Hopper

by Royal Hopper

People of Sin City lets put our heads together and find a way to drive back the were idiots before the disease sweeps this city and endangers us all.
That’s Life in the City of Sin

Take Care Sinners

Broke Please Help _ Royal Hopper

Broke Please Help _ Royal Hopper

Flag Up in the morning _ Royal Hopper

Flag Up in the morning _ Royal Hopper