Hanging out on the Boulevard an unknown crew hangs out in the chilly desert weather _ Photo by Royal

Hanging out on the Boulevard an unknown crew hangs out in the chilly desert weather _ Photo by Royal

Disco Dancing in the City of Sin

By Royal Hopper

Disco is apparently making a come back on the sidewalks of the City of Sin. Say it isn’t so sinners, say it isn’t so. Or should I break out the old leisure suits, platforms and bright rayon print button ups . .. . . . Should I ????

Crossing the street in the City of Sin - Photo by Royal

Crossing the street in the City of Sin – Photo by Royal

It is a rare day in the City of Sin, cold muggy and miserable, coats that haven’t been worn in months are dusted off and wrapped around freezing bodies and heaters that smell like burning mold and dust and turned on after months of disuse.

One gentleman ( lets call him Disco Bob) sporting a Mohawk and a tightly trimmed “kiss my ass” goatee, a spring polo and a pair of light cotton slacks better suited to April than November seems oblivious to the winter cold as he bebops down the boulevard skipping and strutting to variety of 70s dance tunes known collectively as Disco and the plaintive balladeers of that movement the infamous BeeGees.

This modern day polo wearing Disco Viking strides boldly down Las Vegas Boulevard toward a lonely bus stop were three Sin City commuters are waiting for the bus bouncing to the beat of the 70s dance music blaring from one of the strips more ancient casinos nearby as the Bee Gees plaintive dance ballads proclaiming Stayin’ Alive is good and glory to all leisure suits.

Disco Bob saunters up to a Sin City bus stop sauntering up in disco dance mode to the crowd huddled together behind the perforated metal of the bus stop bench and stopping in front of the small crowd as the soft superficial sounds of disco Divo ( the male version of Diva) Andy Gibb’s disco classic “Shadow Dancing” fills the chilled desert night.

Cityscape LVBLVD - Photo by Royal

Cityscape LVBLVD – Photo by Royal

Disco Bob begins bobbing his head doing his best Andy Gibb imitation as he breaks into a passionate solo version of the LA Hustle and soon is shaking his bootie for the three strangers ( or perhaps horrified family members) look on with mystified abhorrence.

Finally the song draws to an end as the bus pulls up to the stop and suddenly Disco Bob and his audience are gone perhaps having fled to safer areas of Sin City away from disco dancing public transit commuters or perhaps to get their inebriated family member somewhere away from the Bee Gees, Andy Gibb and the other evil temptations of the city without a conscious or taste.

What does it mean ?? I don’t have the foggiest idea. Las Vegas is a city full of people who come to be noticed and usually end up being just another face in the Disco themed crowd.

self explanatory ..Vegas is a weird combination of Disney Land and a New Orleans riverboat _ Photo by Royal

self explanatory ..Vegas is a weird combination of Disney Land and a New Orleans riverboat _ Photo by Royal

A man stands on his balcony half dressed and shouts woo hoo, another man displays his assets for all to see, in another a tough guy stares on in amazement as a wandering beggar steals a sip of diet coke from the cup on his table and working girl named Sue walks out the door with a man’s wallet in her hand. . .

Such is life in the City of Sin
Take care fellow Sinners

Because it is Cool - Photo by Royal

Because it is Cool – Photo by Royal

Hanging out on the strip _ Royal Hopper

Hanging out on the strip _ Royal Hopper

Every week people leave money and luggage and valuables lying in plain sight while they use the restroom or eat lunch or have their forth $2 shot of whiskey and are surprised when it is gone when they get back and are offended when the casino full of thousands of drunken gamblers somehow does not shut down it outrage. Every year working men and women vote republican. I don’t get it..

Jaywalking in Sin City

by Royal Hopper 

A man in a white T-shirt stumbles unsteadily into traffic on Las Vegas Boulevard looking both ways as he reaches the middle of the northbound lane and stumbles drunkenly to a stop. The man,  lets call him DDJ (Dumbass Drunk Jaywalker) appears to suddenly realize ..that he is in the middle of the road .he is in Las Vegas,  there is a car coming from both directions and a fence across the road he is trying to cross.

Jaywalking in Sin City is a lot like running through pack of hungry dogs with a bucket of chicken strapped to your chest or betting your rent money on a hard eight. It is risky and kind of stupid.

Perhaps for the same reason people visit this wonderfully dysfunctional city time and time again after it has repeated smacked them on the nose like misbehaving poodle caught drinking from the toilet is people who are here do the same bizarre things over and over again.

by Royal

by Royal

No matter how many times they are told someone always ends up missing their wallet after a rendezvous with a chick they met in a bar ten minutes before..who told them to taker a shower or have a taste of their spiked fizzy grape juice before the rendezvous.
“She seemed like a nice girl,” said so many older guys who for ten minutes seem to always believe the beautiful young girl offering to sleep with them for rent money was somehow not a hooker and would never dream of stealing their stuff while they were unconscious or in the shower.

Every week people leave money and luggage and valuables lying in plain sight while they use the restroom or eat lunch or have their forth $2 shot of whiskey and are surprised when it is gone when they get back and are offended when the casino full of thousands of drunken gamblers somehow does not shut down it outrage. Every year working men and women vote republican. I don’t get it..

peek a boo _ Royal

peek a boo _ Royal

Jaywalking in the City of Sin is a little like that. It is always a little silly in any major city and especially stupid in Las Vegas. Chances are some drunken idiot is going to spot you jaywalking and speed up or maybe he will not spot you until he is ten miles down the road and notices his beat up Toyota is pulling to the left for some reason.
“Oh look there is a tourist under my bumper. How did that happen?”

Every year several people are run over while crossing the street in other words while jaywalking>>> but every night on my way to work I see drunken or impatient or naïve tourists and locals alike jogging across a busy Sin City intersection in a haphazard pattern oblivious to the proximity of their likely demise.

What about our above Jaywalker who dashed into traffic with a traffic light controlled cross walk just 30 years down the road. Fortunately this idiot it was a slow night in the City of Sin. He dashed forward into the intersection, stopped just short of running into the tall metal fence that divided the boulevard in that section of the City. Perhaps realizing his mistake he

King of Drama and Comedy and Lord of Decadence, Master of the Mardis Gras. Fred I think is his name _ Royal

King of Drama and Comedy and Lord of Decadence, Master of the Mardis Gras. Fred I think is his name _ Royal

stumbled and turned on a dime and dashed into the cross walk where he should have been in the first place and where the light was just staring to turn to protect pedestrians crossing the street. Two heavy commuters cars sped through the intersection and the one that was bearing down on him stopped for the light and the Jaywalker jogged lightly across the street saving a good 20 seconds or so in his haste and only being struck by traffic two or three times. Hurray for him..

That is life in the City of Sin Fellow Sinners
Take Care

cool background

Psychic Reader the perfect Las Vegas business _ Royal

Psychic Reader the perfect Las Vegas business _ Royal

In honor of the weirdest week in one of the weirdest Cities in this country in a very long time I have written a poem in lieu of this weeks blog.

From the woman who had enough of her husbands BS and knocked him nearly out to the Halloween Angel who advertised her services to a crew of angry Dwarfs with her family just out of earshot. . .. . ..to the thief who was seen stealing pieces of Halloween costumes for .work??????? It was a long long week. Here is this weeks Halloween missive. This missive is dedicated to the drug dealer who rented a room with a phony credit card at a local hotel and then filled it with his crack smoking customers… It is dedicated to the host of Goobers from all the benighted parts of the world who shout with indignation when the “nice” girl they met at the bar stole their wallet while they were sleeping off the GHB she slipped in their grape juice. . . . and it is dedicated to the man who replied what costume when he was complimented on his Elvis get up

No this is not a ghost in the morning glow. It is a tourists looking at rack full of advertisements for girls named Cherry Pie..Scary stuff huh _ Royal

No this is not a ghost in the morning glow. It is a tourists looking at rack full of advertisements for girls named Cherry Pie..Scary stuff huh _ Royal

All Hallows Eve in the City of Sin or Samhaign, slots. Sluts, Sin and Sloe Gin Fizz in the City full of Sinners

By Royal Hopper
Little boy blue come blow your horn the tourists are dressing like freaks that true

Little Bo Peep is dressed in blue too

Bwuhahah haha ha haha  RIP Baby _ Royal

Bwuhahah haha ha haha
RIP Baby _ Royal

Elvis is passing out flyers on the street

And Wookies dancing nearby are keeping the beat

Its Sin City baby and Halloween too

Little Bo Peep might blow your horn

And little Buy Blue might too

Linq sign ...Royal

Linq sign …Royal

In one corner pirates and another one bats

In one corner witches and a woman called Cat __ flirt

In one corner grandma is throwing a fit

A perverted Darth Vader is lifting her skirt

Two for one the female Darth Vader said in a shout

The crowd jeers and cheers when security hauls her out

Miracle Mile - Royal

Miracle Mile – Royal

And smiles when grandma gives She-Darth a hit

The crowd gathered cheers as security tells grandma “git”

It is Sin City grandma get over it

Happy Halloween Sinners

Until next year

The City of Sin at Night

The City of Sin at Night

Swearing at machines and its February man

by Royal Hopper 

A man wearing a pony tail and salt and pepper hair styled in a manner people in 1979 would be familiar with curses loudly as he stares at the face on the machine in front of him and makes veiled threats of beating the crap out of it if it doesn’t give him his money.

Two shopping carts passing in the night ....Photo by Royal

Two shopping carts passing in the night ….Photo by Royal

When the face does not reply he pauses shakes a fist at the face and then reaches in his pocket _ _ _ for another quarter because the face he is threatening is the front face on the slot machine he is playing.

In another part of the City of Sin an intoxicated man and his boyfriend are approached by the order keepers of one of the cities casino order keepers. “What day of the week is it?” asks one of the order keepers..
“February,” replies the man.

Slot machines are simple things .You put money in them they give you more money or they take it .. They don’t have wardrobes or fashion sense or smiles ..or even faces but people tend to view them as people who can be intimidated into paying them the well deserved jackpot they came to Vegas to win.. Alcohol is even simpler device. Drink to much of it and you get stupid especially if you are already stoned or not that bright to begin with.

Back in the casino.. . . .
“You bastard,” the gambler said extending his middle finger and pointing it straight in the air in the time tested sign of disrespect.
“F*** you,” he said to the machine flipping it off yet again and pushing the extended middle finger toward the slot machine as if the hunk of metal, plastic and glass would suddenly pay more attention with a finger in it’s face.

City at Night 2

City at Night 2

Fortunately or unfortunately as the case may be like many of the actual people in the City of Sin slot machine don’t have feelings or minds or mouths or fingers for that matter. The machine still took his money as such machines are prone to do.

Now back at the pool the two party animals eventually admit to the casino order keepers they just met two days ago and didn’t know each others real name. The intoxicated one of the pair continues to answer questions with the same aplomb.
“February,” he answers again.

This City is built around the idea that luck is a real thing and can be altered by gestures rude words or the right combination of both. For whatever reason people who come here seem to believe the drunk and stupid in the City of Sin is somehow different than it is in LA or Nebraska or Idaho.

City at night 3

City at Night 3

Finally remembering what city he was in and who the president and stumbles off to his room with his new companion. Later that same night a man bemoans his missing wallet and states . . . “She really looked kike a nice girl.” and another asks for protection from his girlfriend who mysteriously tried to hit him with several heavy objects acreaming something about a blonde he had “talked to.”

“I don’t what her problem was. . . “ he said.

Such is life in the City of Sin.

Take care Sinners

City at Night 4

City at Night 4

Blankets, Wardrobe and Cold Weather in the City of Sin

By Royal Hopper

A young woman in bright red leather pumps stumbles a bit as she makes her way down Las Vegas Boulevard tripping over a piece of broken beer bottle and a lump of hardening bubble gum. Her hair is ruffled by the desert wind, her legs are bare from the thigh down and over her shoulders she wears a blanket as protection against the cool desert air..

Perhaps the brisk desert breeze is simply to cold for her delicate street walking sensibilities or perhaps she forgot her pants in the same place she picked up the shiny pink leather pumps she wears at the bottom of her long experienced legs..

It falls down to mid thigh and it is impossible to tell if she wears anything under the blanket_ but perhaps that mystery is part of her sales pitch.

What does she do for a living ???

Right ..she is a blanket salesman !!!

This fake Air Force 1 was at the Tropicana all last week _ Royal

Wardrobes matters in the City of Sin. This young woman could have been a lot of things but she looked like a hooker advertising her wares in the relative chill of the desert night air or a homeless stripper looking for a place to spend the night.

This blanket wearing walker on the Boulevard could have been a school teacher who tied one on at a teacher of the year awards dinner who just liked hot pink leather pumps with six inch heels or a, accountant who got her coat stolen while she was at church praying for the homeless or she could have been a street walking prostitute who was cold _ you decide.

Cool weather doesn’t change the City of Sin. Everybody here wears a uniform of some kind whether it is a cocktail dress or bright green blazers or a big bird costume and every visitor to this city will assume something and take actions based on what you wear.

The large man spotted in the expensive suit handing a small black package to an associate and saying “take care of this.. .my life is in here,” probably should have taken note of this fact.

First of all he might as well have said “please rob me. I have something very valuable in here.”

Nice suits ..big guys .. .. .. mysterious exchange of small black cases hmmmm .. They could just be football players putting their playbooks up for auction or Navy SEALS on a secret mission in Las Vegas but you know they are probably just businessmen who are going to get robbed.

That is life in the City of Sin
Keep warm Sinners See you soon
There is an old trick in the City of Sin played by con men. They put on a blazer and a name tag and walk around asking people if they want change for the $20 or $100 bill they have in their hand. Of course the cons leave with the money because they aren’t casino employees just dressed like one. They know people will see a certain kind of wardrobe and assume certain things about the people who wear them

guy in wheelchair 4 good

Hanging out on the Boulevard _ RMHopper

What Were They Thinking

By Hopper

A female figure steps out of an elevator in a Sin City Gambling House looks around to see if anybody notices her and uncomfortably takes not of the people watching her smooth her styled black hair and adjust the strap of her expensive bra and stuffs it beneath her name brand evening gown.

“She/He” wears blue eyeliner, red lipstick and has the one thing no other “woman” in the place can boast of _ five o clock shadow and the need for a reliable razor. She is clearly a he and her nervousness about being seen in all her/his glory is obvious and unneeded. If anybody in the place notices .no one says anything and no one seems to care.

“Oh a transvestite.. .. Hey look the Chargers are ahead by six. “What is for lunch.”

LVBD looking good _ RMHopper

LVBD looking good _ RMHopper

It goes without saying that people in the City of Sin have a thick skin when it comes to being shocked. It takes a lot to get a veteran Sinner to pay attention much less shock their jaded sensibilities. With out city full of dog owners this week

No body noticed the fashion impaired transvestite as he/she stood in the elevator lobby except the flamboyant couple who happened by with a pair of tequila sunrises in their hands.
“What was she thinking,” one of them said as they strode past with free dinner coupons in their hands.:”what was she thinking.”

Dressing like giant Anime characters even in the accepted traditions of your own gender will not get you as much attention in this city. Neither will the empathy generating cast Anime Jill wore on her hand especially as the seems to switch hands as you parade around waving to who ever will take notice.

In other places in other more enlightened towns people might be offended or gasp with outrage while others lined up to get an autograph.
People here in Sin City (Sinners for short) will wave back and quietly mutter to themselves black gym shoes and a blue socks with knee length black skirt .. .. what was she thinking.

cityscape 4

Every year the city is full of pretty well groomed tourists wearing pretty clothes who think they are hip. They stride down streets roadways and carpet filled hallways of the city of sin certain that their impeccably dressed over groomed asses are certain to attract the attention of every member of the opposite sex.

Their strutting attracts the attention of several “professionals” dressed in black who were soon filling the ears of these “Gucci wearing gentleman” with tales of their meaning the gentlemen’s prowess and good looks.

“What were they thinking,” said onlookers and several members of the establishments order keepers ushered the “professionals” out the establishments nearest door. I’m not sure if they were referring to the working girls or the Gucci guys the establishments order keepers had saved from being rolled.

people behind fence

People on the Street _ RMHopper

Lets also talk about disco Dave. The intoxicated and benighted gentleman who stopped in the entrance of one local establishment and broke out in a 70s inspired Dance moves and curled his 70s inspired mustache in a rye grin as the PA above him blasted out musical dance tunes whose copy write had long since expired.
The man danced his heart out with a rye smile until he realized the casino full of inebriated tourists and Sinners who were watching over them were neither clapping their hands in appreciation or laughing at the joke he was trying make.

Disco Dave finally stopped dancing when he realized the only man clapping for him was the drunken homeless guy likely just seconds from being asked to take a walk down the boulevard for the night.

“What was he thinking. I mean really dancing the Seattle hustle to Pearl Jam???” What a dork.”

Here in the City of Sin, colorful characters, good looking rich naiveties cross dressing extroverts well dressed villains and rebellious working girls in Slut rebel commando black are a dime a dozen. Others are outraged or surprised ..Us Sinners just yawn, roll their eyes and go to lunch at the $4.99 breakfast buffet down the street .
Life in the City of Sin brothers and sisters

Take care fellow Sinners

Sin City Cityscape _ Royal

Shuffles spies a weirdo or old and weird in Las Vegas

By Royal Hopper

The eyes of the tired old gambler ( lets call him Shuffles or old scary gambler guy if you want) widen with fright as he stands at a Sin City bus stop next to an off duty storm trooper picture poser and a slumbering drunken accountant soon to awake sober but without his vacation money wedding ring or gold watch, but with a business card from a dancer named Wild Cherry in his pocket.
Shuffles, shuffles across the gray expanse of Sin City sidewalk stepping over the flyers advertising exotic dancers named Chocolate Brownie, Vanilla Flake and Gina.. (Yeah I don’t really get it either) away from the object of his terror a shadowy figure visible through the perforated metal of the bus stop bench.

Four decades in the city of Sin have taken their toll and muttering under his breath he baby steps several more yards across the ancient beer soaked concrete shuffling his old travel worn feet as fast as they will go in his $10 Chuck Taylor “Tennis Shoes,”
He stops only briefly wheezing with the effort of walking the 9 feet to where the security guard whose attention he sought was standing at and attempts a clipped Sin City greeting.
“She is sitting in the chair saying all kinds of crazy stuff,” said the man pointing at a nearby bus stop where the outline of a female figure
The metal shrouded figure moves a bit staring at the pair through the many small round holes in the metal bench perhaps turning around to look at Shuffles as he approached the guard.
“That is county property,” replied the security guard squinting as he strained to hear the frail voice of the Sin City retiree. The guard was painfully aware of the fact that the man standing before him clothed in the patchwork wardrobe of logo bearing novelty item free giveaways could one day be him.
Shuffles, having seen his better days when disco was young and Wild Cherry was the name of a one hit wonder 70s Funk band and not the well used young woman in the leopard skin bikini and hip length shiny fake leather boots squinted with disapproval looking back to the bus stop as a blonde rent a cheerleader in a hand me down skating tights and a yellow tutu strolled up the stops metal bench.
“But she sitting there shaking and saying all kinds of crazy stuff,” he said. . . Shuffles sighed the sigh of the hopeless and shuffled slowly away to wait inside the casino for the next city bus to take the crazy woman who was gibbering to herself and shaking to the next bus stop.

Sometimes just waiting for the next bus is the only way to get away from people who are even weirder than you and your patchwork free giveaway logo that is your wardrobe and life your Star Wars costumes and your leopard skin bikini and leather boots.

What is the moral of this tale. I don’t have a damn idea except that maybe when crazy old people call you crazy and old maybe you are crazy and old.
So long fellow Sinner until next time

Rock on